Constellation
by MysticShadowWanderer
Summary: Kaoru's father is killed and she blames Battousai. Revenge doesn't always go as planned. (What is up with me an AU these days...?) [AU][BK]
1. The Road To Revenge

Constellation  
  
MysticShadowWanderer (formerly known as DarkShadowHuntress)  
  
Disclaimer: WHOO! Party on, dudes!  
  
A/N: YAY! The pre-story A/N! I'm excited, how about you? This story is looking extremely promising, and like a good book, I couldn't put this first chapter down. So I finished it at about 1.45 A.M., and had to stop myself from writing more. I have a feeling I'm going to have fun with this one, and I've already got some plot twists planned for down the road. Now, I know I have quite a few fans of my lemons, and this story is another dark one, but I don't think I'm going to have any lemon chapters posted for this one. However... they will be written, I'm sure, so I'm sure I'll have them posted on other places like... say... my own site! Yay for sure-fire plans to get people to see your work ^_^ But seriously folks, I wanted to write one that everyone could enjoy without taking any offense or having to skip chapters, so I'm going clean. (Well... sort of. I didn't say there wasn't going to be any citrusy-good content. It IS a dark fic, keep that in mind.) Now that I've gotten to make my pre-fic spiel (or "schpiel" as I like to say ^^), enjoy the story, because I'm having a hell of a good time writing it!   
  
*****  
  
Chapter One: The Road To Revenge  
  
"What are you getting yourself into, Kamiya?"   
  
The words rang in Kaoru's head as she cut through the park, striding quickly through the brisk autumn chill. At the time, she hadn't answered, she hadn't known what to say. Now, once she had gotten some time to herself and quietude in which to think, she had found the right word to respond with. Unfortunately, it was too late to reply, as she was already well on her way. Nevertheless, she spoke aloud, as if someone who cared could actually hear her.  
  
"Hell."  
  
She wasn't sure how she'd gotten herself into this situation in the first place, the last few days were all becoming blurry, unwanted memories that she wished she could believe never happened. One moment she'd been eating a pleasant dinner with her father, and the next she was gagged, tied, blindfolded, and shoved in the back of a car. Kicking at some of the crisp leaves under her feet, she tried to keep herself from crying as she remembered all the horrible things that had happened that day. Her kidnappers had jerked her out of the car and hauled her along behind them until she was thrown to the floor.  
  
When the blindfold had been yanked away from her eyes, she saw that she was in a dark, dusty, abandoned building; it had looked like a warehouse to her, from what she could make out. Kaoru's father had been no where to be seen, but she didn't dare ask what they'd done with him. Two men that, from Kaoru's viewpoint, looked absolutely humongous, were standing on either side of her, they acted as if they were guarding her.  
  
After what she estimated to be fifteen minutes of struggling uselessly against the cords that were tearing the skin from her wrists, she had slumped down dejectedly. Obviously no one was going to help her, it never happened that way in real life. Especially when you were Kamiya Kaoru. She had mentally cursed her family at that point, all of them were suddenly reduced to cowards, starting from the moment they had refused to associate with Tetsuro and his daughter; her once-loved family members, all of them!, had called him crazy, delusional, and all for nothing more than being brave enough to chase a dream.   
  
'In the end, it came out to mean nothing,' Kaoru thought bitterly as she wrapped her arms around herself in a vain attempt to combat the biting wind that whipped leaves around her and forced her to continually shove her now-loose hair out of her face in annoyance. She'd never felt more helpless in her life than she had in these past few days. Being taken from her home by a gang organization was sure to put a black mark on just about anyone's day, and it had all careened wildly downhill from there. Teardrops streamed down her cheeks now, but she payed them little mind, just so long as they were gone before she reached her destination. Her hand briefly caressed the hilt of the gun that was hidden beneath her jacket before she once more clutched at her sleeves.  
  
They had killed her father; she had heard him. But apparently his screamed pleas had been entreated upon deaf ears, because soon after the shouting began, she heard the muffled shot of a handgun and her father's voice was lost to her ears forevermore. That was when her tears had first started, and it seemed that they hadn't yet stopped five days later. After they shot her beloved father, they'd blindfolded her again, and dragged her kicking and yelling down the hall to a room, where she was bound to a chair. By that point, she'd given up struggling, and simply sat in her own darkness. If she could have burned a hole through cloth with her glare, the blindfold they'd placed on her would have been up in flames by then, but unluckily for her, that sort of thing only happened in fairy tales.  
  
"So, Kamiya Kaoru, the daughter of the 'great' Kamiya Tetsuro, is finally here, right within my grasp." The voice was low, raspy, and speaking in heavily accented English. She scowled, refusing to answer; this all felt as if it were a badly scripted mob movie from America. But that wasn't the typical "mafia accent," and she couldn't quite place it, something else that greatly bothered her. "The quiet type, are we?" he continued. "I wonder how your pretty little mouth can be forced to open..."  
  
Kaoru heard shuffling, heavy footsteps and then felt warm, humid breath on her face. Her upper lip curled in disgust. The man made a sound of irritation and brought the back of his hand across her cheek forcefully. She gasped and flinched, but refused to give him the pleasure of hearing her whimper in pain. In the dense, still atmosphere of the room, she could feel the air displacement of every move, and she threw her hands up to shield her head as the man lifted his hand again. Her defensive measures were never put to the test, however, because with a sudden rush of air and a few whispered growls, the threat to her person had been removed, along with her binds. With shaking hands, she'd removed the cloth from her eyes, and looked behind her. She was in a small room with a desk and a single electric light, but there was no one else with her. For the first time in her life, she was completely, totally, and utterly alone.  
  
Alone. It was a frightful word to Kaoru, who'd always been surrounded by the warmth of her father's love. Now that she didn't have even that, she wasn't sure where to turn. The woman who'd come to get her after she'd wandered the warehouse, lost, for several hours, told her that a man that went by the title of Hitokiri Battousai was responsible for her father's death. The woman had come from a government agency, or at least her badges said as much. Kaoru had been wary at first, but with time, she'd become almost desensitized. All she needed now was a name and a gun with a few shots; the rest would all fall into place, she decided with a sniffle.  
  
'No more tears,' she reprimanded herself. 'From this point on, I am made of ice and stone. I will not cry again. Ever.'  
  
She didn't know who she was trying to fool as she increased her pace when she reached the edge of the park, did she really believe that she was strong enough to do this? Could she stare down a man, aim a gun at his forehead, and then pull the trigger? In her father's name, she thought that, just maybe, she could.  
  
'Just a few more blocks,' she thought as she rubbed her arms in order to rejuvenate her circulation. She hated the cold, hated piling on layers of thick, constraining clothes, hated the flu, and hated the way everything could be so pristine in the frigid, frost-tinged air when her father had so recently been murdered.   
  
"Why?" she asked the starry heavens, not for the first time. "Why did it have to be him?"  
  
As usual, she got no answer, only the detached twinkling of the distant stars and the cold silence of the night. On nights like these, she hated everyone and everything, especially herself. Somehow, she knew she should have done something to save her father, though she didn't know what. She'd been trained in kenjutsu, self-defense, the lot of it, but it wasn't enough when it came down to life and death.   
  
"Dammit!"   
  
She wasn't this way before, she knew she'd changed, and likely for the worst. Once she'd been an innocent, or maybe a bit less than innocent, loving, carefree daughter whose only job in life was to do well in college and love her father unconditionally. And she'd been doing so well, until her father was taken from her. Now she was a emotional train wreck, though outwardly played the part of a serene murderer with flawless ease. Those acting lessons as a child had hardly gone to waste, she thought with spite.  
  
When she reached the front of an apartment complex that was luxurious in appearance, she stopped, her heart pounding in her throat and her mouth going dry. This was it. There was no turning back once she entered his apartment; it was kill or be kill now. With firm dedication and a defiance of all that was holy, she pushed on the door to the building, only to find it locked. Checking her watch, she decided that nine thirty at night was certainly not too late to call for him. The doorman answered the intercom, and she very politely requested to be granted permission to enter the building, stating that she was there to see Battousai on "business." Inwardly, she was grimacing at having to put a sultry connotation on the word, but it couldn't be helped at a time like this.  
  
Being allowed entry, she conned the doorman into giving her a key to the Battousai's apartment; men were all too easy to manipulate. Her head held high and stride confident, she stepped into the elevator and, with a last flirtatious wave at the doorman, whom she'd decided was a complete idiot, she pressed the button that would take her to the twenty-sixth floor.  
  
'Penthouse,' she thought with contempt. 'It figures.'  
  
By the time the elevator reached the twenty-six floor, she was tapping the toe of her leather boot with impatience. This murder thing was becoming too much stress for her, but she was going to have to go through with it now. Her father deserved this, if she had no other thought to drive her forward. She would see the Battousai dead if it was the last thing she lived to do.  
  
Silently, she praised all the years of martial and swords arts she'd taken as a child and young adult, because they were finally paying off in the stealthy way she was able to slip down the short hall to the door of the Battousai's penthouse. It was a bit more difficult to put the key in the lock and turn it without causing a commotion, but adrenaline lent to her finesse, and she accomplished the task fairly well. She didn't want to let herself get arrogant, because she knew it would be her downfall, but she couldn't help but feel at least a bit proud of her skill thus far. The door, luckily, swung open on well-oiled hinges, and she left it open a crack to avoid the click of the doorknob as she stole into the apartment.  
  
It was almost eerily quiet, so Kaoru remained absolutely frozen for a few moments, just listening. The room was dark, and the whole apartment would have seemed to be empty if she hadn't heard the slightest sounds of clicking, it sounded like silverware on a plate, and seen just the faintest glow of electric light coming from underneath a nearby door. Catching herself before she swore aloud, she made her way quietly toward that door, gun in hand. Taking a moment to steel herself against her quickly-building nerves and to catch her breath, she leaned against the wall and snaked her hand out toward the doorknob. It turned easily and noiselessly; it seemed the Battousai had a fondness for things that were in perfect and silent working order. Efficiency, as she must have herself as she blew his brains out all over his expensive flooring.  
  
The door made no sound as she pushed it open, moving it fraction-of-an-inch by fraction-of-an-inch. It was now or never, she told herself, and she eased the door open just far enough so that her body would fit through. She peered around the corner and saw him there for the first time. He was calmly slicing an edible-size piece of meat from the steak on his plate; he hadn't seemed to have noticed her. Though she dared not linger on her task, she couldn't help but notice the striking crimson hue of his hair and the way his tight-fitting black shirt outlined lean muscle. She raised her gun to the back of his head and cocked it back with a quiet click.  
  
"I wouldn't even try that if I were you," he said sedately, not pausing in the motion of raising his fork to his mouth until she pressed the barrel of the gun into the back of his neck. "I really wouldn't, woman."  
  
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't, would you?"  
  
"It'd be a shame to have to kill you when I don't even know you."  
  
Kaoru only scoffed for a split second, because that was all the time he gave her. Within that short span of time, he spun, grabbed her gun, and had her pinned against the wall with his body and her own weapon held to her temple. Her eyes were wide enough that she feared they might fall out of her head, and she could feel her body starting to tremble in shock, which she would have cursed if she could form anything that even resembled a thought.  
  
"I don't believe we've met," he said, as placidly as though they were at a business function. "Tell me, what's your name, sweetheart?" Kaoru just glared at him, and one corner of his lips tugged upwards. "Not in the mood for talk? I see... I suppose I'll have to be the one doing the talking, anyhow."  
  
Kaoru merely stared up at him, for some odd reason she couldn't seem to look away from his eyes. They were unlike any others she'd ever seen, amber and full of a vicious power that called to her. How she hated this man that she'd never met.  
  
"You hate me already?" Kaoru started, had he read her mind? She decided against that, he'd probably just read her eyes.  
  
"You really should give me a chance, you know. You don't even know me yet." He gave her a grin that came off as nothing less than completely wicked. "I'm really not a bad guy."  
  
"You lie," she spat.  
  
"That hurts, especially coming from a woman whose name I don't even know," he said sardonically. "First thing's first, I suppose. I am, as I'm sure you know, Hitokiri Battousai. It's a pleasure to meet you, though I have to say I'd rather have met you under better circumstances. It's never a good way to start off by having a loaded gun aimed at your head. Now, I really do need your name."  
  
"You need nothing from me," Kaoru replied.  
  
"There's going to be no living with you, is there?" he asked in pseudo-exasperation.   
  
"What?!"  
  
"You can't honestly think I'd just let you leave here after you've made an attempt on my life, can you?" He didn't pause long enough to let her answer. "I think not. You're mine now, and you'll do whatever I tell you. Just feel lucky that I haven't killed you yet." Anger suddenly flared in his eyes, which roared to life in a flash of amber hatred. "I don't like to be threatened, woman," he growled. "If you weren't as beautiful as you are, and if I didn't make it a practice not to kill women, I would already be scraping your brains from my wall."  
  
Kaoru whimpered slightly as he pressed his body harder into hers until she could scarcely breathe. Battousai smirked and dropped the gun to the floor with a clatter, and ran his now-empty hand down her cheek, where she bit at him.  
  
"I think we're going to get along quite well," he said when she did so. She watched his eyes intently, the anger was still there, but it was dying down to the level it had been at earlier. "Now, what's your name?" Kaoru gasped when he bent his head to press his teeth into her neck. "Tell me or I'll bite you. And I don't bite gently."  
  
"K-Kamiya... Kamiya Kaoru," she replied quickly.   
  
With a satisfied nod, Battousai nipped at her neck quickly and released her. Kaoru sank to the floor immediately and pressed a hand to the small wound he'd left. If she could make someone explode with just her eyes alone, the arrogant man in front of her would have been reduced to bits and unidentifiable pieces, but things never seemed to work out that well for her. She should have foreseen something like this happening to her before she even set out; life seemed to have it in for her.  
  
"Don't look so hostile, sweetheart," he said casually. "I'm sure you're going to like it here. I'm not as bad as I seem once you get to know me. By the way, it would be nice to know exactly when you wanted to have my corpse lying on the floor, as impossible as it would have been to accomplish."   
  
"You killed my father."  
  
"Did I?" He paused to think. "It's possible, I suppose, but I don't remember killing anyone who could have been the father to something as pretty as you."  
  
Kaoru pressed her hands into her eyes, desperately trying to stop the tears that she'd sworn to herself that she'd never cry again. She was on the verge of breaking down when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Looking up, her blue eyes met with his amber, and she thought she might have seen a trace of sympathy before he closed it away.  
  
"Listen, if I did kill your father, I was only acting on orders," he said gruffly, as if that were supposed to be some sort of comfort. "I had nothing against him, whoever he was."  
  
"Kamiya Tetsuro," Kaoru said with a sniff. "He was a great man."  
  
A look of puzzlement crossed Battousai's face. "I'm quite sure I didn't kill him."  
  
"I don't believe you."  
  
"You wouldn't, would you?"  
  
Kaoru turned her face from him and shoved his hand from her shoulder. He growled quietly and grabbed her by the chin. Yanking on her face, he forced her to meet his gaze. There was no need for words between the two, his face clearly said "You belong to me now, you will do what I say, when I say, or I will be forced to put you in your place." Kaoru's, on the other hand, read "I will defy you with all that I am, and you'll have to kill me before I will obey you."  
  
"If that's the way you'll have it..." he said darkly. "I'll have to teach you some manners."  
  
Ignoring her shrieks of protest and her fists beating his back, Battousai swept Kaoru off the floor and over his shoulder as if she were nothing more than baggage. He carried her down the hall until he reached the door he wanted, which he kicked open, and hauled her inside to throw her down on a bed. She attempted to escape, but was not at all close to being fast enough to get away from him before he crushed her to the mattress with all his weight. Kaoru cried out and struggled against him, but he was far too powerful for her to contend with. She'd never in all her life been treated this way, and it was both terrifying and exciting to her, all at once. She would be lying to say that he wasn't a beautiful man, part of that beauty coming from his formidable bearing, but she would also be lying to say that this was the position that she wanted to be in at the moment. Was he going to rape her? Was it truly rape if she was at least a slightly willing participant?  
  
Battousai entrapped her wrists above her head and forced her to look into his eyes. His forehead touched hers as he laid on top of her, both of them completely motionless. Kaoru was quivering, though she wasn't sure what exactly the reason was at that time, and that didn't pass Battousai unnoticed.  
  
"Don't worry," he said in a low voice. "I wouldn't take a woman unwilling. The very thought disgusts me. I'll wait until you're good and ready."  
  
With a quick bite at her lips, he shoved himself off her and the bed and went to stand in the doorway. She sat up, breathing heavily now that her lungs could fully expand, and ran a shaky hand through her hair. Battousai smirked at her.  
  
"This door locks from the outside. You have your own bathroom; there are no windows. I think there are some of my shirts in the closet, and I'll wake you in the morning when I deem it fit to do so. Try not to make much noise, even assassins need to get a few hours of sleep, and I still have work to do."  
  
Kaoru just stared at him until he shrugged and left the room, closing the door and locking it with a gentle snap. When she heard his light footsteps moving off down the hall, she flopped down on her back with a heaving sigh and covered her head with her arms. How had she gotten herself into this?   
  
'Well, I've certainly gotten myself into hell this time.'  
  
Maybe if she got some sleep, she would be able to better sort things out. Her mind never worked as well when it was running on pure adrenaline, which it was surely doing by now. She got up and shuffled to the closet, where she found an oversized navy blue v-necked shirt. Kicking off her boots and shrugging out of her jacket and button-down black blouse, she drew the soft cotton shirt over her head, noting that it only fell to about mid-thigh. After some thought, she slipped out of her black slacks and tossed them in the corner on the pile of her other clothes. It didn't really matter now, she decided as she turned down the comforter and sheets on the bed. She laid down and drew the blankets over her with a yawn.  
  
Whatever happened in the morning, she'd be ready for it.   
  
*****  
  
A/N: :coughIlikereviewscough: Don't we all though... Anyhow, Battousai is a little... different, I know, but I likes him like that. I likes him gooooood. Damn... we should all have a Battousai to play with... Ok, I better not even get started on that topic. Anyhow, uhm, well, yeah... I can't really think of anything else to say, and it IS really late, so... yeah. That's chapter one... I'm MysticShadowWanderer (formerly known as DarkShadowHuntress)... and dammit I miss my old name. I like this one, but DarkShadowHuntress was just... me. Damn. Oh well, I'm still the same old Shadow, but with a little more wisdom and a lot more creepy ideas to test on Kenshin/Battousai and any other various characters I happen to pull out of thin air. Ja ne! 


	2. Silence Of Blame

Constellation  
  
MysticShadowWanderer  
  
Disclaimer: Will the killing veil love, should the heroes play dumb? But killing's no fun when the heroes are none.  
  
*****  
  
Chapter Two: Silence Of Blame  
  
"Good morning."  
  
Kaoru was awakened at what felt like an ungodly hour of the morning when she felt an oppressive weight smothering her and heard Battousai's dark, baritone voice rumble right next to her ear. Her eyes snapped open to meet with his; he was lying with her, partially on her body and partially on the mattress. One of his arms was snugly holding her to him, while the other was left free so that he might stroke her hair.  
  
Kaoru desperately tried to shove him away, but she was so tangled in blankets and his limbs that it was impossible. Sinking down in defeat, she turned her face away from him and closed her eyes, a single tear, which she refused to acknowledge, running down her cheek. Battousai simply laid still, watching her with an expression of lazy fascination.  
  
As a teenager and young adult, Kaoru had heard the stories, over and over; he was, after all, ten years her senior. Hitokiri Battousai, since the time he was fourteen, she'd heard, loved women. And he had plenty of them, he was an extremely attractive man, she had to give him at least that. Though just using and discarding women seemed quite bad enough to Kaoru, the tales grew steadily worse. According to everyone, and it really was everyone, many of the women mysteriously disappeared after Battousai decided that he'd had his fill of them and moved on. It was presumed by the vast majority of Japan's citizens, at least the ones that cared enough for gossip and urban legends to listen to the story, that Battousai killed the women, though what was done with the bodies was a matter that was never addressed clearly enough for Kaoru's satisfaction. This was most certainly one of the most uncomfortable and least desirable situations she could have gotten herself into. She groaned quietly; why did life hate her?  
  
Looking up, she saw Battousai smirking above her, and instantly wished she could take that groan back; she hated the way mens' minds worked. Giving him a defiant glare, she moved her hands to push at his chest, but he was much stronger than her and she couldn't make him move. If this was any sign, she was most definitely not going to have a good day.  
  
"Sleep well?" Battousai asked in a low whisper, his breath spraying warmly across her neck.   
  
In spite of herself, Kaoru shuddered, it was hard not to when put in such a compromising situation. She shook her head negatively, in truth, she'd barely slept at all. The conditions weren't exactly what she considered highly conducive to a good night's sleep, what with being the home of a stranger who had the ability to murder her and being locked in an unfamiliar room. What did he expect her to say, "Oh yes, I had a lovely rest, and my dreams were wonderful. And you?"? She didn't think so.  
  
"You really are going to have to speak more," he added after a moment's pause. "I don't like my woman to be so unresponsive."  
  
That statement was enough to draw a reaction from Kaoru. Her eyes narrowed with fury, and her eyebrows knitted together in anger. She opened her mouth to berate him, momentarily forgetting that he reminded her of a slumbering dragon that at any instant could devour her, but he never gave her the chance. Before she could utter a single syllable, he covered her mouth with his and took full advantage of the half-opened state of her lips. Kaoru struggled against him, and he moved his hands to firmly hold her cheeks. She expected him to crush her with his grasp, but was surprised to find his touch strong yet tender. He was being careful with her. Forcing herself not to respond to his kiss out of habit, she let tears flow down her face in despair; she hated being kissed like this, to be driven to do what she didn't want to do, and to be dominated so easily. Willful submission was one thing, but this was modern Japan, and she would be no one's slave to command if she had her way.  
  
Battousai felt Kaoru's tears slide over his fingers and under his palms and he stopped. This was different; he thought. Here was a woman that refused to come to him, to let herself be used and thrown away as was his usual wont. And she showed real emotion, not like so many of the women he'd had contact with. That was something he'd always detested, the way females reacted only in a way meant to entice, never with their real feelings. But this one was unlike the others, and perhaps she was worth the time spent in seducing her. He knew undoubtedly that she was attracted to him, at least on a physical level, she couldn't hide that from him, but he found himself curious as to what went on in her mind. Being so long desensitized and alienated to the world and human emotion that he scarcely remembered it, he'd found someone to intrigue him.  
  
After laying a few soft kisses on her face, cleaning her tears away with his tongue, Battousai pulled away, and stood up. Kaoru remained on the bed, eyes closed and body trembling as fresh tears spilled down her skin. He had to admit to himself, it was difficult not to simply rip off her, or rather his, clothes right then, but he hated rape, and always had, so he would do no such thing. Something about the idea was so wrong and so disgusting that he almost frowned.  
  
'I'm rushing her, pushing her too fast,' he thought. 'I can afford to take my time with this one.'  
  
"Come," he said aloud. "Put some clothes on and then join me in the kitchen. I made you breakfast."  
  
With those words, he turned and left, shutting the door with a soft click. He immediately strode off down the hall to his own bedroom, where he could have a few minutes to think and to calm the raging fire in his veins. Locking his own door behind him, he threw himself down in a chair and massaged his temples with his fingertips, trying to think of anything and everything but her and the way she'd looked, the way she'd felt. But everything he tried to force his thoughts from his head, he'd see her again, clearly picture her sleeping. When he'd walked into her room, she'd been deep asleep, obviously tired from the previous night's events. She'd had her limbs tangled in the sheets, and was wearing nothing but one of his oversized old shirts; he'd been given a generous view of her body, and the image alone was enough to stir a growing desire for her.  
  
"Shit," he muttered. It was like he was losing control of himself, and, if nothing else, he liked to be in complete and total command of everything around him and, most especially, himself.  
  
Clenching his fists and gritting his jaw, he willed himself to take things more slowly, and to keep himself from ruminating on her for so long. Besides, he had other things he had to get done, it wasn't as if he had enough free time to spend any of it in such a derelict manner. There was no time to think, there were papers to organize, and sword skills to be practiced, and killing methods to be perfected, and...  
  
Damn. None of that seemed to be of high priority at the moment, his body was telling him. With a resigned sigh, he let his eyes drop closed and his hand roam. He was utterly disgusted with himself, but in the face of the situation, what else could he do? If he weren't there in the kitchen when she made her tentative way there, how would she react? Although he liked to pretend that he was a hardened, heartless man, he would hate to see the fear on her face when she found herself alone. Who knows what she might think he was plotting when out of her sight?  
  
***  
  
Kaoru decided that, before anything else, she at least needed to shower. She detested feeling like she wasn't clean, and she knew it was all Battousai's fault. He'd touched her, kissed her, even licked her; she shuddered at the thought. She needed to wash herself clean of him.  
  
The water was scalding hot when she stepped into the shower, but Kaoru paid it no heed. The burning of her skin only served to help incinerate the feeling of his lips and hands on her body. She couldn't stand the man, she told herself over and over as she scrubbed her flesh raw. Staring down at her hands, she tried to tell if they were that red because of the extreme heat of the water and the friction created by rubbing her arms so furiously or if she'd caused herself to bleed. It didn't really seem to matter, though she did fleetingly notice that when she sank to the floor of the shower and buried her head in her hands that a stream of diluted crimson trailed from her body to the drain. Soon enough, though, her tears blurred her eyes and the whole scene was displaced by her racking sobs.  
  
When her tears subsided and the water had gone cold, Kaoru stepped out of the shower and, shivering, wrapped a towel around herself. At least the bathroom was well-stocked, she thought with a withering glance at all the medications in the cabinet. She wondered, did he use this room himself? If not, to whom did all the pills and bottles belong? Her hand strayed over a few labels; most were generic painkillers, antacids, and the like. Or at least she assumed they were, who knew what the Battousai could have hidden in any one of the various containers. She chose not to risk it and take an aspirin for her pounding head and aching muscles, on the chance that he might keep drugs slightly more powerful than what she needed to alleviate the thrumming pain in her temples.  
  
Kaoru padded out into the bedroom to find something to wear. After going through Battousai's clothes in the closet and finding nothing that looked like it would fit and be decent, she slipped back into the same clothes she'd worn the night before. Drawing her still-wet hair into a tight ponytail on the top of her head, she stopped in front of the door and simply stared at it. Could she do this? Could she go out and eat breakfast with the hitokiri Battousai, her captor? She nodded resolutely; she would have to. Taking a firm grasp of the doorknob, she opened the door without hesitation and, with her head held high, walked down the hall to where she remembered the kitchen to be.  
  
***  
  
Battousai watched her from under his crimson bangs as she cautiously pushed the kitchen door open and stepped in, her bare feet making little sound as she crossed the linoleum floor to sit at a chair at the table. He set a plate down before her, and she eyed the omelette he offered her with some apprehension. Would he be the type to slip some sort of drug into? Kaoru didn't think that was the case with this man. Yes, he was dangerous, but he was also bound to his own twisted code of honor. She picked up a fork and began to take small bites of the food.  
  
Part of her was wondering whether this man actually was Japanese as all the stories said. He certainly didn't look it, neither did he act like it. Nothing in his home was oriental in the slightest bit, at least, nothing that she had seen thus far. Then again, why should it matter where he was from? She hated him either way, there was nothing that could sway her opinion.  
  
"I didn't kill your father." She paused mid-bite and then let the fork drop to the plate with a clatter.  
  
"I don't see why I should believe you," she said quietly, he eyes focused on her plate.  
  
"Because I do not lie," he replied firmly. "I did not kill your father that night in that warehouse."  
  
Kaoru lifted her gaze to glare at him. "If you didn't kill him, how do you know such details?"  
  
Battousai placed both palms on the small table and braced his weight on his arms, leaning over until he was nearly nose to nose with Kaoru. The way he glowered at her sent shivers of fear and some other nameless emotion tripping down her spine. She summoned up her courage and forced herself to hold his gaze with her own eyes. It felt like a stand-off to Kaoru, and she knew that she was destined to lose, if that was the case.  
  
"Just because I didn't kill your father doesn't mean I wasn't there. Quite the contrary, in fact. You see..." He paused, eyeing Kaoru's reactions deliberately. She remained expressionless, and he bit back the urge to snap at her. "I was there, though you never saw me. You might remember me, however, as the force that stopped a fat, ugly, lumbering fool from beating you senseless. You might also recall the binds on your wrists falling free. Though you never saw me, I was there."  
  
Kaoru stared at him incredulously, her fingers, as if by their own will, tracing the still-fresh scars on her wrists that had been left by the cords when he mentioned them. Was it really possible that this man set her free, saved her life even? By rumor, he had enough talent to have done so without her own knowledge of his presence, but she couldn't allow herself to be that trusting. Not after what happened to her father.  
  
"A likely story," Kaoru said, gathering her strength of voice. "But it lacks one thing."  
  
"And what, pray tell, is that?" Battousai asked, gritting his teeth.  
  
"Truth."  
  
Battousai's eyes flashed dangerously and he raised his hand as if to strike her. But when Kaoru flinched away from him and he saw the look on her face, he let his hand drop and sunk down in a chair heavily. Clenching his fists tightly and occasionally pounding one on the table, they both sat in silence as he slowly brought his anger back into his control. Most people couldn't get under his skin the way she did, he considered them worthless and useless and therefore disregarded much of what they said and did, but this woman had something about her that gave her the power to infuriate him. Kaoru simply sat back in her chair and crossed her arms, watching Battousai with listless interest.  
  
"I swear to you, woman..." he growled after a few minutes. "If you impugn my honor like that one more time, I will not be pleased."  
  
Kaoru's eyes widened. Would not be pleased? He seemed irate enough as it was. She wondered if he was really being honest with her. Perhaps if she further questioned him, she would be able to decide.  
  
"Why where you there?" she asked softly, at least leading him to believe that she took his story as the truth.  
  
"I was ordered to kill the man that was questioning you," he replied, still somewhat tense. "He was a 'businessman' from a Northern European country, and he'd been giving my superiors hell, meddling in everyone else's affairs and doing everything he could to dominate the Japanese-American trade on the black market. I don't know what gave him the idea that he wanted to take over here, but he certainly paid for his way of thinking. I only set you free as a favor to myself, I don't like the way these businessmen run their operations. Women and children should be left out of these sort of matters."  
  
Kaoru bit her tongue at the last comment; she would have desperately loved to tell him off for being the typical male chauvinist, but she thought it best to leave the topic alone, at least for the moment. The proverbial wheels were turning in her head, and she was beginning to see at least a bit of truth in his story. Either he was playing it straight with her, or he was the most accomplished liar that she had ever met. The way he reacted when she tried to infer that he was lying to her led her to believe that it was the former.   
  
"But then... why would they tell me that... Unless she..." she mused aloud. Battousai raised an eyebrow at her, but she ignored him. So the woman who had collected her wasn't actual a government official, and had only wanted to use her to kill Battousai, or even worse, wanted Kaoru herself dead. The thought wasn't very reassuring, but some of the strange things that the woman had said and done now made perfect sense. A crestfallen look crossed Kaoru's face as she realized that she had been twice betrayed.  
  
"Listen, I'm sorry about your father," Battousai said suddenly. "But what's done is done, I can't go back, and I'm not a savior. I might have saved his life if I had gotten there in time, but it's not in my job description. I kill who I'm told to, and I save who I feel I need to. But in your case, I'm sorry. I know how it feels to lose a parent, and I do truly feel pity for you, Kaoru."  
  
It was difficult to tell exactly what he'd said, it was cruel and kind at the same time. And Kaoru was fascinated by the way he'd said her name; he'd never said it before. She liked the way it sounded with his vocal tones and inflection. Still, that didn't begin to take away the pain she was feeling, although she had to admit that it was nice to know, in somewhat of a deranged way, that he knew how she felt because he'd also lost a parent. Somehow she could almost accept him now, because, deep at the heart of the matter, she believed him.   
  
"So, you quite possibly saved my life?"  
  
"I suppose that could be the case," Battousai responded with a shrug. "It wasn't as if I was going out of my way."  
  
Kaoru could have hugged him for the indifferent way he was handling things, if she actually wanted to touch him. The last thing she needed at the moment was some dramatic production about how he'd saved her; she was sick and tired of people putting on shows for her, as if she were too naive to know they were acting. Battousai was refreshingly real, for as little emotion as he displayed.  
  
"So then, since this has been resolved," she said. "I assume I can go home."  
  
Battousai snorted derisively. "There is not the slightest chance that I'd let you leave. I cannot forget that you attempted to kill me in my own home. You will not be turned loose, I can't afford for you to talk. Besides, where would you go, really? Your father is dead, and you have no other family that would take you in."  
  
"How..." Battousai interrupted her.  
  
"I did some research last night. I don't make it a practice to have house guests of whom I don't know details of."  
  
Kaoru fumed silently. He was the most arrogant, self-centered, and cruel man she'd ever met, and, though he may have saved her life, she certainly would not enjoy staying in his home, as comfortable as it was. She was on the verge of throwing her plate at his head, her hands already gripping the porcelain tightly, when he reached over and placed his own hands over hers, gently easing them off the dish. He berated her with his eyes as he took the plate and dumped its long-forgotten contents onto his own plate, from which he'd been slowly eating during their entire conversation.  
  
"You didn't seem to be planning on eating this," he said by way of explanation. " And I'd rather it not go to waste by being thrown at me as you seemed so willing to have happen. Do you mind?"  
  
"I... no..." Kaoru said, rubbing her hands where he'd touched them as if to cleanse herself of him. She'd quickly lost her appetite, anyhow; all she really wanted to do was lie down somewhere and try to think through everything that had happened to her.  
  
Battousai kept his gaze on Kaoru as he ate, watching as she glanced around at her surroundings, and as her touch kept returning to the scars on her wrists. Quickly he decided that something about them bothered her in the extreme, perhaps it was the memory of the night that they had been obtained. Not saying a word until he had finished his food and placed the dishes in the sink, he moved to kneel at her side. Kaoru looked up at him with curiosity shining brightly in her eyes.   
  
"I'm sorry," he said softly, pushing up her sleeves and taking her hands in both of his. His glance darted over the scars swiftly before he bent his head to lay warm, wet kisses to each wrist.  
  
Kaoru jerked her hands away and wiped her arms on her slacks; Battousai had to stop himself from wincing. He wondered if this was who she really was, or if she'd just been so mistreated in this whole messy situation that she was afraid. He hoped it was the second option, because he knew he could remedy that. For now, though, he imagined that she'd had enough. Taking her by the hand, he pulled her out of her seat and led her out into the bigger room of the apartment.   
  
Motioning for her to have a seat, he handed her the remote to his large-screen television, and tossed a thick blanket over her in an almost too careless manner; Kaoru could tell he was forcing this casualness. Was the infamously criminal Battousai actually that nurturing? Perhaps that wasn't quite the word for it, but she could think of none better.  
  
"Watch whatever you want," he said. "The fire is gas-powered, I'm sure you're perfectly capable of working it if you get too cold, and you can eat whatever you want out of the kitchen. My room is locked, so don't bother trying to go in there. And if I find that you've picked the lock, gods help you. I have to go out for a few hours, and I expect to hear that you've not tried to leave the building. You won't be able to, of course, because the doormen and other staff would rather betray their own mothers than disobey my orders, and I will see to it that they keep you from getting past the lobby doors. I would highly suggest staying in this room, the people in this building are far from friendly."  
  
With those words, Battousai grabbed a black leather coat from a hook by the door, and exited the apartment, leaving Kaoru in a state of shock. She wasn't sure exactly what had gone on. He'd been nice enough when he was attending to her possible needs, but going so far as to instruct the staff to keep her caged here with him? She couldn't tell whether she should be insulted or, in a twisted way, complimented. He thought she was enough of a threat to keep locked up. But she could also tell that he was interested not only in keeping himself safe, but taking her to bed as well. There was no question about the Battousai. He was a dangerous man.  
  
*****  
  
A/N: Wow. Well this is getting interesting. Even I didn't expect half that stuff to happen. Well shit... I guess this is going to be a tad more sexual than I'd planned. Damn. Still, I'm hoping to withhold any lemons (although the way this is going, I can't really be sure...). And guess what guys!! I have the ENTIRE plot laid out. :waves the "go self" flag: That means I can write more faster (I... hope... O_o) because I already know exactly what's going to happen! Yatta! Here's a secret... I usually start a story and have no clue whatsoever where I'm going to take it, so it takes longer to write, and sometimes sort of just... fizzles out in the middle. But I'm extreeeemely optimistic about this one, which is a big thing for me, since I'm a cynic and a pessimist. Anyhow... hope this is enjoyable, hope I didn't offend anyone with content (haha, just kidding, if you don't like it, don't read it... I couldn't care less about offending anyone), and I hope to have the next chapter out soon! Please bear with me, though, as I'm working on three fics at once and, contrary to popular opinion, I DO have a life (just... not much of one...). Ok, ok, so I lied. I don't have a life. I have school and a horse. That's my life. Yeah... Ja ne! 


	3. More Than Slightly Swayed

Constellation  
  
MysticShadowWanderer  
  
Disclaimer: The Rasmus is an awesome band. They don't own Kenshin. They also didn't write this story. But sort of they did, because I was listening to their music while writing, and music always inspires me to write. Check them out, they have much better rock than a lot of American bands I've heard, they have extremely artistic stylings. (Yes... they're from Finland. Yes... they rock hard.)  
  
*****  
  
Chapter Three: More Than Slightly Swayed  
  
Shoving his way down the crowded sidewalks, Battousai made his way without completely focusing on his destination. His thoughts were centered on Kaoru, and just what he would have to do to get her to trust him and to coax her to open up to him, if only slightly. It seemed as though it was a lost cause, but he wasn't one to give up quite so easily. A grin stretched across his face; the internet truly was a marvelously powerful tool in this day and age. Before his fingertips, with just a few simplistic codes that allowed him to skirt the edges of the systems he desired access to, had been displayed a very thorough background on the Kamiya family. Apparently she knew less of her father than she thought, because his business, the façade of which involved selling some sort of children's toy that he'd invented, had a commendable amount of ties to several mafia and gang-type organizations. It was glaringly obvious to Battousai that Kaoru had been Tetsuro's only connection to the rest of the family, who suspected but never brought into public view his less-than-savory dealings, and had been spoiled as only the daughter of a rich man could be. Fantastically expensive homes, outrageous wardrobes that would have cost any middle-class family enough to cause them to go bankrupt, high performance sports cars, fine pedigreed show horses, education at the top establishments in Japan; it was a wonder that Kaoru had any sense of reality at all, though just how much she understood of the world remained to be seen.   
  
Battousai stopped to glance in the window of a women's clothing store before pushing the door open and stepping inside. If Kaoru had been spoiled before, then he had no qualms about lulling her into security around him by buying her valuable and pretty things to present a sense of normalcy. It wasn't as if he didn't have the funds to do so; assassination was not one of the lower paying endeavors in society. With a smug smile, Battousai decided that he was quite well-off enough to treat Kaoru like royalty. Part of his mind told him that getting her to feel safe around him was not the only reason that he wanted to care for her in such a manner, but he ignored the thought.  
  
"Can I help you, sir?" The woman standing in front of him was staring at him, she looked as if she were resisting the urge to wave a hand in front of his eyes.   
  
"I need to buy clothes for someone," he replied offhandedly, his gaze dating around him at the different racks of apparel.  
  
"Might I ask whom these clothes are for and what the occasion is? It would be a great help in deciding what you'd like to purchase."  
  
"They're for my... younger sister." He made no attempt to hide the fact that he was lying. "She's staying with me for a while, but she didn't pack anything." An amused glint flickered in his eyes at the young sales clerk's expression; it was always entertaining to embarrass the people in these types of places. As a rule, Battousai abhorred shopping, and was brief about buying his own clothing.   
  
'Here's a picture, then. Hitokiri Battousai, quite possibly one of the most notorious men in Japan, buying clothes for a woman,' he thought, regarding what the now flustered woman at his side was saying with only half attention until she mentioned size. He hadn't thought about that, he mused. It didn't seem like a difficult task to simply guess, he decided. Besides, with only the short time he'd spent touching her, he fairly well had her body memorized. 'Though I'll have to know her more thoroughly...'  
  
***  
  
Kaoru tucked herself into the corner of the couch and wrapped the blanket over her legs. This day hadn't started well, but she supposed that for the moment it was alright. At least Battousai had left, even if only for a while. With a sigh, she clicked on the television and started flipping through the channels. Quickly overwhelmed by the sheer amount of stations that there were to chose from, she stared down at the remote, studying all the buttons until she found the one that took her to the channel guide. Picking a movie channel, she settled back into the couch cushions and pulled the blanket up to her chin.  
  
Breathing in, she couldn't help but take in the warm scent that she recognized as Battousai's. Part of her was disgusted, because of the hatred she held for the man, but she couldn't deny the fact that he smelled wonderful.  
  
'No.' She shook her head and pushed the blanket away. 'I hate him, I hate him, I hate him.' She knew she was acting childishly, but she also knew that, under the circumstances, she had a right to. Curling up in a ball, she tucked her knees to her chest and focused her attention on her movie. Interview With A Vampire; no matter how many times she saw it, it just continued to get better. Having seen the movie countless times, enough to have it mostly memorized, when Kaoru's eyes began to grow heavy from lack of sleep the night before, she had no reason to keep them open. With a yawn, she let go of any remaining tension in her body and slipped away into slumber.  
  
***  
  
Several hours later, Kaoru woke with a groan and sat up. She was startled to realize that the blanket she'd tossed aside earlier fell about her waist as she straightened her body out, stretching the muscles that had stiffened while she was asleep. By the delicious smell of food cooking in the kitchen, she knew that Battousai was home; he must have pulled the blanket over her while she was sleeping. The acknowledgment brought a puzzled look to Kaoru's face; it seemed uncharacteristic of an assassin to care whether an individual was cold or not while they were sleeping.  
  
'Maybe I'm special.' That particular thought came unbidden, and she did her best to shove it away to the recesses of her mind. There was nothing worse than having confusing, yet warming, thoughts about someone that one hated. At least she thought she hated him; she wasn't so sure anymore. 'The only thing he's really done that's wrong is keep me here, and he's only doing that because I tried to kill him...' Her mind was traitorous.  
  
"Kaoru," he called softly. "Dinner is ready."  
  
'Dinner? I slept through lunch?' The rumbling of her empty stomach quickly answered that question, and she pushed herself up from the couch to join Battousai in the kitchen.  
  
As she stepped toward the chair she had used during what little she'd had of breakfast, Battousai pulled it out for her. Blinking once in surprise, she primly took her seat, aware that all the while his eyes were fixated on her. Her gaze was kept firmly on her plate, which contained dainty portions of rice, pork, and some sort of vegetable mix that she wasn't sure that she would enjoy. Did Battousai already know her well enough that he knew she didn't eat very much at meals because she ruined her appetite by snacking in between? The difference in servings on her plate than those on his certainly made it appear that way. How could he know that, though? Noticing the chopsticks by her meal, she looked up at him, meaning to express her thanks for his silent display of kindness in knowing that she would like the familiarity of the utensils. But when she met his gaze, she stopped before she could form the words to give tongue to her feelings.  
  
Battousai gave her a heated stare, desire rampantly obvious in his eyes. Kaoru found herself nervously licking her lips, and instantly regretting the action as his hungry eyes followed the motion almost leisurely. But he didn't lean down to kiss her as she expected he would with half dread and half anticipation; they both were still, neither one moving but to breathe. After a moment, Battousai shifted his weight to close the gap between their faces, his mouth mere inches from hers. Kaoru could feel the warmth of his breath on her lips; he was doing it on purpose, as she knew very well. It was strangely erotic, almost more so than kissing, and she unwittingly found herself wishing that he would tilt his head a little bit closer and meet her mouth with just the slightest brushing of lips. Battousai watched her as her eyelids dropped slightly; he smirked. She wanted him, even if she wouldn't admit it to him.   
  
"I hope you enjoy your meal," he said in a low, soft voice as he pulled away and took his seat.  
  
Kaoru sighed quietly as she picked up her chopsticks and slowly began to eat. What was wrong with her? This was the man she hated, and she had wanted him to kiss her? Was that all she wanted? Sometimes she couldn't understand the way her own mind worked, or, in this case, didn't work. Battousai eyed her as she carefully lifted her food to her mouth and chewed carefully, her expression lightening when she decidedly that the taste was more than palatable. She nodded her thanks to Battousai, who gave her half a smile and raised his glass in a mock toast. Setting her chopsticks down, she somewhat warily lifted her own glass, mimicking Battousai's expression, and then drank. The wine tingled in her throat and left her feeling warm and more contented. She wondered briefly exactly how potent the drink was, but the thought was deliberately ignored.  
  
Battousai watched her closely as she finished her meal, all the while sipping from her wine glass, which he had been keeping filled to the rim. He lifted one eyebrow as she started swaying a very little; Kamiya Kaoru obviously didn't drink often, though he supposed that was a good thing. She started to speak, presumably to thank him for the meal, but he hushed her and then rushed to her side as she attempted to stand. Taking her by the elbow, he led her out of the kitchen and sat her down on the couch, sinking into the position next to her. Kaoru relaxed completely, slumping spinelessly against the back of the couch.  
  
"I bought you some things while I was out," Battousai said, leaning over to whisper in her ear.  
  
"Hm, what?" she mumbled, ignoring the shivers that chased each other down her spine.  
  
"Come and see for yourself." He stood and offered a hand to Kaoru, who took it tentatively and allowed him to pull her to her feet.   
  
Once more grasping her elbow to steady her, Battousai walked Kaoru the few feet from the couch to the door of his room, and, momentarily groping in his pocket for the keys, unlocked the door and let it swing open. It was a fleeting curiosity to Kaoru that he always kept the door locked; she wondered what he could possibly have that would be of such value or secrecy to merit the habit. Perhaps it was just that: A habit. Battousai let go of her arm and instructed her to sit on the bed and wait; she obeyed distrustfully, sitting in the darkness and watching as he opened the door to his closet and bathed the room in a dim, soft light. He returned with four shopping bags and dropped them unceremoniously at her feet, moving to flip on the bedside lamp. Prodding one of the bags with her foot, she couldn't help but be interested. When he mentioned that he'd bought "some things," she hadn't expected four bags of said things.  
  
"Go ahead, see what's in them," he said as he sat at her side.  
  
As she bent to open a bag, she felt his fingers resting on her shoulder ever so lightly. She decided to, for the moment at least, ignore it. What she pulled out of the bag made her gasp in shock and delight, and completely forget about his now-strengthening grip on her shoulder. He'd bought her clothes, and with her well trained eye, she could tell that they were very expensive clothes. With renewed enthusiasm, she took everything out of the bags; he'd been very busy that afternoon. Battousai smiled at the almost childlike pleasure that radiated from her as she stood and held the clothes against her; he'd made sure to buy her everything she possibly need.  
  
"Do you like them?" he asked.  
  
She nodded and gave him a smile. "Very much... thank you."  
  
"Good," he replied. "But there's one more thing."  
  
"What?"  
  
He went back into the closet, this time carrying out a long bag that Kaoru immediately recognized as the type used at drycleaners'. Handing it to her, he watched, fascinated, as her eyes lit up while she carefully unwrapped it. Kaoru stared for a moment; she'd never had anything quite this nice, even though she had always been the first to admit that her father had spoiled her. The long black dress she held was something she wouldn't have ever dreamed of owning. It was silky, low-cut in both the front and back, with slits in both sides of the skirt that had to go well up to her thighs. Looking closer, she saw that the halter style neck was indeed held by a strand of diamonds that lined the entire top of the dress, and she highly doubted the fact that they were fake. Another line of diamonds circled the waist of the dress; she was simply amazed. She looked at Battousai and simply gaped.  
  
"I... I..." she struggled for words. "I don't know... what to say..."  
  
"Then don't say anything, but 'yes.'"  
  
"To what?"  
  
"There is a dance of sorts that the company I work for is hosting, and it is required that I go," he explained, but didn't actually divulge any details. Kaoru was discovering that he was quite skilled at the art. "I want you to accompany me."   
  
Kaoru stared for a minute before answering slowly. "Yes."  
  
"I have your word, then. You will not back out on it." It wasn't a question but, rather, a statement.  
  
Kaoru nodded as he eased the hanger from her hands and hung the dress on a hook on the closet door. When he returned to her side, he drew her into his arms, holding her loosely and fully expecting her to shrug out of his embrace and make for the relative safety of her own room. As he realized that she was, for the moment, going to remain in his arms, he brought an arm up and threaded his fingers through her hair, bringing her head to his for a gentle, chaste kiss. For a few seconds the kiss remained innocent, but even Battousai's restraint wasn't so great that he could resist her, which greatly irked him but he shoved the thought away as he crushed her body to his and bit at her lips.  
  
Before Kaoru realized what was happening, Battousai had her laid on the bed and was kissing his way down her neck. She shuddered and buried her fingers in his strange crimson hair, enjoying it's tangled, rough silky feel under her sensitive skin. Unable to help herself, she bit not-so-gently at his ear and heard his sharp intake of breath, felt his hips grind against hers. The sensation hit her like heavy blow to the head; suddenly she comprehended exactly what she was doing. With a cry, she shoved fiercely at Battousai in an attempt to get him off her.  
  
"Shit." The curse was brief and angry as Battousai gave her once final, sharp bite on the neck and moved away from her, hands fisting as he strode to the other side of the room.  
  
Kaoru fled without another glance at the raging man she was leaving behind. Stopping only when she'd reached her room and slammed the door behind her, she fell to the bed in tears. Now she realized what he'd done. He'd gotten her drunk, treated her kindly, bought her costly items, all in an attempt to get her into his bed. Now she remembered why it was that she hated him so much.  
  
Despite the fact that it was getting late, she went into the bathroom and turned the shower on rather violently. Dropping her clothes where she stood, she stepped into the water, only to immediately step back out. This time it was far too hot, she thought as she turned the temperature to a more reasonable level. She scrubbed furiously, painfully, until the bar of soap she held was nearly gone, and the scars on her wrists were so agitated that they began to bleed again. She cried to herself as she turned her face up into the burning water, paying no attention to the protesting of her soft skin. It didn't matter anymore; nothing mattered.  
  
When she felt both tired and clean, Kaoru turned the shower off and grabbed for a towel, which she held firmly around herself as she went out into the room to look for something to wear to bed. Settling for a button-down shirt that was made of a soft, dark material, she let her towel fall carelessly to the floor, slipped into the shirt with no thought to put anything on underneath it, and fell wearily onto the mattress. Pulling the sheets and blankets snugly over herself, she yawned and closed her eyes, falling into an uneasy sleep.  
  
***  
  
"Goddamn it," Battousai hissed as he paced the long wall of his room. She had been so willing, so ready, and then she just... snapped. Much like he had, he thought darkly, but with the opposite effect.  
  
'I will have that woman for my own if it's the last thing I do.'  
  
Tonight, though, he would have to make do with a cold shower, or perhaps two, and the thought of how happy she had seemed when she was looking at the clothes he'd bought for her. He didn't dare remember the look on her face when she'd seen the dress, that was simply too much for him to bear.   
  
After his shower, which was only minimally effective, he slipped into a pair of loose sweat pants and flopped down on his bed, hands behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling. It was going to take more than just a day to get through Kaoru's defenses, which was a different experience for someone who was used to having women fling themselves at him. Battousai smiled into the darkness; Kaoru was a challenge that he was more than willing to overcome.  
  
*****  
  
A/N: Ooo... tense. This chapter was a little shorter than the others, but I ran out of creativity towards the end there. Oh well, it was pretty decent despite that. As my choir director would say: "There were some good moments." Of course... there were some moments that completely sucked, which he always fails to mention, but oh well. We'll ignore that part. My arm hurts from holding myself up at this weird angle and I'm starting to lose feeling in my hand... Ja... 


	4. Reasons To Survive

Constellation  
MysticShadowWanderer  
  
Disclaimer: Imagine being completely alone, without another living being, for fifty years. Imagine not having anyone to talk to but yourself, and no hope of returning home unless someone finds you. Imagine that this place that you are stranded is an uncharted planet that's lightyears away. Doesn't that make you appreciate your life just a little bit more? (I probably should watch less Stargate SG-1, but oh well, cause it fricking rocks...)

* * *

Chapter Four: Reasons To Survive  
  
It was so cold and lonely in the darkness that Kaoru woke in. She was used to opening her eyes to the bright sunshine of a new day filtering through the curtains in her cheery room. The walls in this room were a plain, dark blue, and there were no windows. It was little more than a glorified prison cell, and she abhorred it. A glance at the bedside alarm clock told her that it was only two in the morning, but she knew that once she was this far out of her sleep that she wouldn't be able to reclaim it. It was unlikely that Battousai was up this early, she mused.  
  
Shivering, she sat up and wrapped a blanket around her shoulders as she wondered what she was going to do. It occurred to her that Battousai hadn't locked her in last night, and that she might go to the kitchen and forage for something to eat. Keeping her blanket for warmth in the chilly apartment, she cautiously made her way out into the kitchen.  
  
Pushing the door open, she stopped in shock as she was met with the sight of Battousai sitting at the table, wearing just a pair of loose, black pajama pants, calmly reading a thick novel and occasionally taking a bite out of a half-forgotten bowl of ice cream. Kaoru blinked and stared for a second. She wasn't sure what was stranger, the fact that he always seemed to be wherever she went, or the fact that the hitokiri Battousai was eating ice cream at two in the morning. Never turning around once, he motioned that she take a seat in the other chair. With nothing else to do, she complied, adjusting her blanket to fully cover her for warmth. He raised an eyebrow at her.  
  
"Would you like anything?" The question was almost offhanded, but not quite. He was trying desperately to hide his amusement. "Some ice cream, perhaps?" Even from behind his book she could see his grin.  
  
"I'd like some tea, if you would be so kind," her answer was dripping with sarcasm.  
  
To her surprise, Battousai immediately closed his book, which she peered at curiously only to find that she couldn't understand the language on the spine, and set about making her a cup of green tea. She watched him curiously as he prepared the drink for her; he seemed so at ease while doing such mundane tasks.   
  
Battousai's lips curved into a smile as he felt her eyes upon his back; she was staring at him. He began to hum to himself softly, a strange little quirk of his, as he put a tea bag in the mug of steaming water to let it steep. There were many things about him that she didn't know yet, and he wished she would give him a chance so that she might learn them. It was only the way they had met that was hindering the relationship, he was sure. She would like him if she really and truly got to know him.  
  
None of this was said to Kaoru as he set her tea down in front of her, he didn't feel she needed to know all of that at the current moment. She was skittish enough as it was. Raising the mug to her lips, she had no need to express her shy thanks, he could read it in her eyes. He almost groaned as he thought about how marvelously wonderful she would be if only she would open up and let down her securely built walls. Somewhere within the cold shell of a broken, used woman was an intelligent, loving, and wonderfully sarcastic person; he could see the person that lurked below the surface, but he just couldn't seem to get to it.  
  
Kaoru sipped her tea slowly, closing her eyes to savor its warmth as it slid down her throat; she was amazed that while she was freezing in the chill air of his apartment, he was completely bare chested, eating ice cream, and seemed to be perfectly content. The situation, she suddenly realized, was quite awkward, taking in consideration the things that had gone on between them. Taking another drink from her tea cup, she hummed in satisfaction and pulled her blanket just a bit more firmly around her shoulders, tucking her legs beneath her. Battousai looked up from his book and peered at her for a moment, doing his best to ignore the leap his heart gave at her sound of contentment and focus on the fact that she was cold.  
  
"I can turn the heater on if you'd like me to," he said. Kaoru just nodded. "Wait here." She nodded again.  
  
Upon returning, Battousai put a hand on Kaoru's elbow, frowning when she jumped and quickly moved away from the light touch. She looked up at him with frightened eyes; he could have sighed, or flown into a rage, over the way she acted. He knew it was because of the way she'd been treated in the past, partially. But he was well aware that if he hadn't been who he was, she wouldn't be so scared of him. Even as a hitokiri, all he wanted from her was a chance.  
  
"What are you so afraid of?" he finally said, quietly, almost inaudibly. "I'm not going to hurt you."  
  
Kaoru gazed up at him. She hated the way she was trembling, as if she couldn't control it. It was a natural instinct, fear was, but she couldn't help but detest the quivering of her skin. Battousai met her eyes, a fist clenching behind his back as he fought with his self-control. How she couldn't know that she was so beautiful and innocently tempting, he would never know. Very slowly, in every attempt not to further scare her, he reached a hand out and, with his own fingers shaking just slightly, gently traced the curve of her cheek, then let his hand fall away. As if by its own will, Kaoru's own hand lifted to her cheek to unwittingly caress the skin where his fingers touched her.   
  
"Hush, darling," Battousai soothed before she even voiced her concern. "I'm not going to hurt you," he said again. "Go back to bed. I'll see you in the morning."  
  
Kaoru stood, completely forgetting her blanket, and, in a daze, walked back to her room. Battousai watched her retreating figure, unable to keep himself from staring at her. She really should have put at least something on underneath the shirt she was wearing; he groaned and slapped a hand to head. She was so oblivious to the fact that she was attractive even in her most disheveled state. This woman was special.

* * *

Kaoru flopped down onto her bed and pulled the sheets around her, thankful to Battousai for looking to her comfort and turning on the heating system. The man was so confusing to her; at one moment she was terrified of him, and the next moment she was drawn to him. He was both cruel and sweet; she didn't know quite what to think about him. If she gave him a chance to show her who he really was, she feared that she become nothing more than lost and hurt; the man was, after all, a notorious killer and philanderer.  
  
As she allowed herself to fall into an uneasy sleep, she unconsciously kicked the sheets into a tangled mess that barely covered herself. The shirt she wore, which smelled of detergent and Battousai, did little to conceal her skin from Battousai's wandering eyes when he entered the room. For a moment, he stopped, frozen in place and forgotten blanket in hand, before he shook himself and reminded himself why he was in her room in the first place. Valiantly disregarding his own feelings, he only tucked her blanket around her now shivering body, and, with a heavy sigh breathed through his nose, left in silence.  
  
Kaoru's eyes cracked open and she let the tension flow out of her body; for a moment she'd thought that Battousai was going to forget his promise that he wouldn't hurt her and simply take her right then and there, whether he thought she was sleeping or not. She'd woken when she heard the opening of the door, and she had almost been holding her breath in her fear, but she soon realized that she needn't have been worried. It was interesting, to say the least, that Battousai was so gently caring toward her. Perhaps he wasn't to be so feared after all.

* * *

Battousai sat in his room in front of his computer, idly typing while his mind focused on other things, namely Kaoru. He'd known she was awake, of course, but had feigned ignorance and taken the opportunity to let his eyes roam, though perhaps it hadn't been the best of ideas. In the end, he was a man, and imperfect.   
  
Glancing over at his closet door where the dress he'd bought still hung, he took a few minutes to think about the dance that he was required to attend, and the beautiful woman that was going to be at his side. The very idea that he had to go to a dance for his company was extremely annoying to him, if just because he was an assassin whose identity was better off to remain unknown, though he could only assume that no one who knew him would point him out, as the results for them would be fatal.  
  
It would be entertaining to see how the evening played out, Battousai decided. It really seemed that there were but two options of what could happen: They could have a pleasant time or the night could be absolutely disastrous. Either way, the entire event would most likely turn out to be thoroughly amusing for him.

* * *

The clock beside the bed informed Kaoru that the time was now eleven thirty-four in the afternoon. Not usually one to rise quite that late in the day, she was unsure of just what to do with herself. Stretching quickly, she stood and wrapped her blanket back around her shoulders, more to cover herself than for warmth this time. She realized that all of the clothes Battousai had bought for her were still in his room where she'd left them in her rush to escape him. Opening the door, she found that she was wrong, as Battousai had thoughtfully left the bags in the hall where she would be sure to see them. She picked them up and brought them inside, shutting the door behind her, and carefully pulled everything out, strewing clothing across the bed.  
  
After some consideration, Kaoru slipped into a pair of black, flared pants that had pockets on the sides just above each knee and a tight fitting, dark red long sleeved shirt that didn't quite meet the top of her pants. She quickly pulled her hair up into a high ponytail and, with a deep breath for courage, pushed the door open and stepped out into the hall.  
  
Battousai was sitting on the couch and lazily flipping through the channels when Kaoru entered the room. When he heard her come in, he let his gaze travel slowly from her bare feet up to her strikingly blue eyes. Her cheeks and the bridge of her nose took on a pink tint at the intensity of his stare, but she met his eyes steadily. The corners of his lips turned upward in a smile that Kaoru wasn't sure was sweet or sultry; he was, as ever, nearly impossible to discern. She got the distinct feeling that everything she read in him was only what he allowed her to see. There were more levels to this man than he let on, and suddenly she wanted to know more about who he really was.  
  
"You look good," Battousai said quietly; she wasn't sure that she liked the way he said the word "good," although she couldn't help but shiver at the tone he used, a fact that didn't pass Battousai unnoticed. "Come sit down next to me."  
  
Cautiously, Kaoru obeyed his cajoling command, sitting on the couch but being careful to leave about two feet of space between her and the hitokiri leaning against the other arm of the sofa. Battousai smiled quickly; her timidity was almost endearing. He stretched out an arm and extended his hand to her. Instead of taking it, Kaoru eyed it warily.  
  
"I'm not going to hurt you," he said, promptly becoming serious. "I would never want to hurt you, in any way." A smirk graced his face. "Unless you ask me to."  
  
This time, Kaoru's face reached a hue of red that Battousai had never seen before. It was pleasant to meet a woman that actually had enough dignity and decency to blush, which was something he didn't get a lot of in his life. Unable to help himself, he leaned forward to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and run his fingers over her cheek to rest at the corner of her lips. Her eyes widened, but she didn't pull away. A groan almost escaped his mouth, almost, because he wanted more than anything to drown in her kiss, but she was so frightened of him already that the last thing he wanted to do was give her more to worry about.   
  
'In time,' he reminded himself. 'In time I know that she'll warm up to me. I can heal her.'  
  
"Don't worry," he whispered. "You don't have to be afraid of me."  
  
Kaoru just looked at him, unsure of exactly how to answer him. He shook his head slightly, indicating that she needn't give him a reply. Before she could respond, he reclined against the arm of the couch and stretched his legs out to rest them across Kaoru's legs. She stiffened momentarily, but relaxed after a moment and leaned back into the cushions.  
  
"See? I'm not so bad."  
  
Kaoru rolled her eyes and refused to dignify him with a response. As Battousai picked the television remote back up from where he'd dropped it on the couch-side coffee table, she stared down at his bare feet, wondering momentarily just where those feet had taken him during his life, what he'd done and why he'd done it. She'd always enjoyed things like that, watching people in the park or somewhere similar and just inquiring to herself. Before her whole life had been turned upside down in one night, she'd loved doing that. Back then, she could have spent an entire day's worth of time imagining all the fanciful things that each person may or may not have done, and all the exotic places they may or may not have traveled to. And Battousai was exotic as he was, without her having to make up anything about his supposed life, she couldn't even begin to guess what he'd seen and done thus far in his life.  
  
Battousai's line of sight darted sideways; he could feel Kaoru staring at him. For the moment, there was no reason to ask her what she was thinking; if she wanted to look at him, scan his body with her eyes, he was in no way going to draw attention to the fact that he realized she was doing so. A small smile played at his lips at the thought. The instant he commented on the way she was observing him would be the instant she looked away. She was shy, although at a second thought shy might not have been the word he was searching for. Perhaps wary would be more appropriate, although at times she was almost open with him. Kaoru was a complete enigma to him, and one that he was quite eager to unravel. As he was deep in thought, a quiet voice pulled him out of his reverie.  
  
"Why do you do it?"  
  
The sudden words were startling, but he responded quickly. "Do what?"  
  
"Assassinate other human beings."  
  
Battousai sighed and wiggled his toes in thought; Kaoru couldn't help but giggle. Did he always do that? she wondered. He grinned solemnly at her, for though he enjoyed her sound of happiness, she'd posed a very serious question.  
  
"I think... I think that now isn't the time to talk about it," he replied after some time of consideration.  
  
Kaoru frowned, but accepted his answer. It may not have been fair to ask such a personal question when she'd only been with him for a few days, but it certainly wasn't fair that he'd kept her prisoner in his home for those days. Part of her told her that even though the circumstances were extenuating in reference to her asking a question of the nature that she had, perhaps she wasn't yet ready to hear the answer. Maybe it was right that she wasn't given a response that would satisfy her curiosity just yet, because she wouldn't be able to handle it. Somehow, she hoped that was the case. She decided to lighten the tension in the room by switching to a safer topic.  
  
"When is this dance that I must accompany you to?"  
  
"Tomorrow night. It begins at seven in the evening." His reply was somewhat vague, as his attention was once again focused on the television screen, which was showing some sort of movie that Kaoru had never seen.   
  
"T-Tomorrow?" That was very little time for her to prepare herself, not only physically but mentally.  
  
"Is there something wrong?" He turned to look at her. "If there's anything you need, I can get it for you."  
  
"I'll... I'll need makeup," she said. "I... I don't know..."  
  
Battousai reflected on the matter for a moment. He knew that he was no expert on makeup or hair or any of those sorts of things that females subjected themselves to in the name of beauty, he only knew how to appreciate the finished product. Clothing was one thing, he could guess on that, for that matter, he could even do research on her personality (the internet was entirely useful when the keyboard was under his skillful fingers) to buy what he thought she would like, but makeup? This wasn't something that he could do on his own.  
  
"You're coming with me." The statement left no room for questions or complaints.  
  
"What? Now?" Kaoru sounded startled.  
  
"Yes, now. Get your jacket."

* * *

Battousai watched as Kaoru studied brands and colors; she seemed to be in her element while he felt completely out of place. Frequently, she would ask his opinion, and his answer was ever the same: "Get whatever makes you happy," or "Why don't you just buy both?" What he'd imagined would be a simple affair was turning into an hour long project.   
  
'I will never understand women. As if she weren't pretty enough without all this paint and powder to cover her natural beauty.'  
  
"Darling, this is crazy," he voiced as she pulled an eyeliner pencil out of the rack after much deliberation. When she handed it to him, he glanced at it. The color: black. So much time and thought to choose such a basic, simple color. "Do you need all of this?"  
  
"Yes," she said firmly. "Don't complain. You're making me go to this damned thing, and now you're suffering the consequences."  
  
At these words, Battousai chuckled. At last he'd found more of the clever, facetious woman that he knew could be uncovered in her. "Alright then, I'll take your word for it."  
  
"Good," Kaoru murmured as she selected a tube of lipstick with a smile. "Just what I was looking for..." She looked up at him with a smile. "And that's it. We're finished!"  
  
"Thank the gods," Battousai muttered under his breath as she took him by the elbow to lead him to the counter.   
  
"What was that?"  
  
"Nothing."

* * *

Kaoru hadn't been this happy since the night her father was killed. Battousai had been kind to her, and she'd been able to banter with him in what she was almost positive was good nature. Even if it were only for a few hours, she'd been able to forget that he was her captor, and that she didn't want to be with him. In the back of her mind, a voice told her that she was becoming too trusting, but it was only too easy to ignore when she thought of the way he'd treated her. Maybe he had been right, that he wasn't so bad after all.

* * *

A/N: I have been sick for a WEEK! I'm still sick, but I've been doing nothing but lying on the couch for a week, so I decided it was time to whip out the trusty ole laptop. If not all of this makes sense... well... I wrote some of it while I was pretty close to passing out, so that will explain anything incongruent. Yeah, I should have edited it, but I'm sick, so I don't care. Bleh on anyone who cares that I probably made some typos. It was still decipherable. Mostly. I hope. Whatever. 


	5. Silence

**Constellation**  
MysticShadowWanderer  
  
Disclaimer: Wish I was too dead to cry, my self-affliction fades...

* * *

Chapter Five: Silence  
  
Kaoru strapped herself into her dress, if a bit apprehensively. Her hair had been swept up on top of her head and arranged into an abundance of soft curls, a feat made more than slightly difficult by the fact that she'd had to do it herself, and she'd meticulously applied light makeup. There was nothing left to do but slip into her sleek, black heels and pace the wall nervously. Now that the time had come, she didn't know if she could handle this. After all, she hated this man, didn't she?  
  
A soft knocking at her door alerted her that it was time that they should be leaving. Battousai was leaning against the wall waiting for her as she stepped out of her room, but when he saw her he stood up straight. It was hard for her to think that she looked quite that good, but she was flattered all the same.   
  
"You are astoundingly beautiful," he said simply.  
  
Her fingers trailed along the line of diamonds at her neck as she fidgeted nervously. Though she wouldn't tell him so, she thought he looked beautiful as well. Beautiful may not have been the type of adjective typically applied to a man, but there was no other way to describe him. He wore a black suit with a black silk shirt underneath the jacket and a white tie, his hair pulled high on his head in its usual fashion. He was simply beautiful, perhaps dangerously so. With a sultry grin, he extended a hand to her. When she cautiously took it, he tucked her hand in the crook of his elbow and led her to the door, into the elevator, and then out the elegant, glass-paneled doors.  
  
A limousine stretched lazily in front of them, and Kaoru looked at Battousai with curiously stunned eyes. He shrugged at her, as if this were normal to him.  
  
"I don't have a car," was his explanation. "This isn't mine, I'm just renting it. I didn't suppose you wanted to ride on the back of a motorcycle in a dress."  
  
Well that explained that. Still, a limousine? It seemed a bit extravagant. Just what kind of company was this? Kaoru still wondered all this while the driver opened the door and Battousai helped her in. He was acting extremely gentlemanly tonight. Was the Battousai really chivalrous, or was this just an act to gain her trust?   
  
The interior of the limousine was luxurious, but nothing that Kaoru was unused to; her father, after all, had been very rich. Battousai watched as she ran a finger over back of the leather seat with a sort of disinterest. He couldn't help but be slightly taken aback by her blase attitude; any of the other women he'd been with would have been flitting from one object to another, inspecting everything, amazed by all of it, but she just sat there, obviously used to such comforts.  
  
"Aren't you a spoiled one, then?" he was unaware he said it until the words left his mouth. Shit... she wouldn't like to here that.  
  
Kaoru stared at him, regarding him coolly for a minute. "Yes."  
  
He stared at her, mouth agape. That certainly wasn't the response he'd been expecting. She was intelligent, he reminded himself again, and she seemed to have a firm grasp of reality. Though she'd been indulged in her life, she knew it, and it didn't appear that she expected it. A smile stretched across his face, and continued to grow until he was chuckling softly. Kaoru raised an eyebrow at him as if to ask 'What?'.  
  
"You're very different, Kaoru," he said after a minute. "I like that."  
  
That was something that she didn't know how to respond to, so she fell silent. After a while, she propped her elbow on the edge of the door and rested her chin on her palm, staring blankly out the window. The city lights assaulted her eyes, ugly and overbearing as usual, but she found herself wishing to be out there among them. Anything but here, caged with her wings clipped. A faint sigh passed her lips.  
  
Leaning back against his seat, Battousai observed her quietly. She wanted her freedom back, he could read it in everything about her, her eyes, her down turned, pouting lips, her nearly inaudible sighs. But he couldn't give her that freedom, not yet. Not until he was sure that she'd come back to him when he let her fly. It was wrong, he knew, but he couldn't help it. He pretended that he was keeping her because she was a threat to him, but soon enough she would see through that charade. What he would do then, he wasn't sure, but until then, she was his and his alone.  
  
They ride passed without words from either of them, both respectful of the other's private thoughts. When the car stopped and the driver opened the door, Battousai helped Kaoru out much like he'd helped her in, left instructions with the driver, and led her toward the huge, impressive building that the dance was to be held in. Kaoru's eyes widened slightly. She recognized this edifice, her father had come here often. This was one of the buildings he'd owned. The tears that began to well up in her eyes were blinked away quickly, but not before Battousai could notice and ask what was wrong.  
  
"Nothing," she whispered. "I'm fine."  
  
Battousai knew she was lying, but he didn't press the matter. If she wanted to keep her sorrows private, he would let her, for now at least. They were currently standing at the door, Battousai staring at the man who was taking names at the door. For a brief, very brief, moment, he panicked mentally. But that moment ended when he realized that he could just give the man his real name and no one would be the wiser. Or those who would be knew to keep their mouths shut, in any case.  
  
"Himura Kenshin."  
  
Kaoru glanced at him, but he quieted her with a look. The questions in her mind were begging to be asked, but she rearranged her face to be expressionless, once more the picture of perfection to hang off Battousai's arm. But she didn't allow herself to think those kinds of thoughts, they would only breed hatred. She followed him blindly, averting her eyes as they walked past the office her father used to work in. Memories came flooding back, images of her as a child, playing around her father's legs as he smiled down at her, his pen in hand while he worked.   
  
'This isn't happening. I'm not here,' she closed her eyes and told herself. It was almost effective. Almost, but not quite. Enough so that she could keep the tears from spilling down her beautifully painted and composed face. If Battousai could kill men and think nothing of it, then she could keep herself together, if just for one night. Gentle fingers brushed against her cheek, and she opened her eyes in shock, jerking her face away instinctively.  
  
"So cold," his words were soft, almost reproachful, certainly regretful. "When did you become so cold, so afraid?"  
  
It was a rhetorical question, they were both aware of it, but Kaoru couldn't help but answer him.  
  
"I believe that would be the day you imprisoned me in your house."  
  
Battousai blinked, amazed that she had something to say to his statement. There were so many ways he could reply to what she said, most of them centered around the fact that she tried to kill him, but he left all of those things alone. Tonight, he wanted to enjoy himself, and to help her learn to be herself again. Perhaps this might not have been the best of places to do that, depending on the kind of activities she liked, but he had to start somewhere.  
  
Two large doors stood in front of them, and Battousai turned to Kaoru with a grin.  
  
"Ready?"   
  
"No," she decided to be honest with him. "I don't know who these people are going to be, how am I supposed to know what to say or do?"  
  
A pair of eyebrows were raised in her direction; she was ever the example of a primed and polished lady, intelligent but repressed, admired for her beauty but not her mind. Battousai frowned, that would have to be changed.  
  
"Do and say whatever you want," he replied. "They'll love you. Just stay with me, I don't want anyone thinking that you're here by yourself."  
  
Kaoru cocked her head thoughtfully, not sure whether she should take that as a compliment or not. Whichever it was, Battousai didn't allow her the time to decide, as he took her by the arm and led her through the doors.  
  
The crowd before them was all tuxedos and swirling dresses, gold and pearls and glittering diamonds. Where Kaoru had previously been feeling overdressed, she now realized that she fit in just perfectly. She wasn't sure whether she liked that or not. All her life, she'd been taught to fit in. Maybe things were better this way. Battousai stood out enough on his own as it was with his vibrantly red hair and cross-scarred cheek.   
  
"Come," he said suddenly, interrupting her silent musing. "Dance with me."  
  
Slightly shocked, she was unable to answer, and let him lead her onto the dance floor. His arms came around her to pull her closer, and they slipped easily into a waltz. A slow smile crept onto Kaoru's face as they danced. Never would she have guessed that Battousai was a wonderful dancer. Battousai watched her face, and his own smile was soon mirroring hers. It was odd, because he generally didn't smile often, but somehow she was able to make him happy.  
  
The song drew to an end and the floor cleared as people began to take their seats. Despite resistance on Kaoru's part, Battousai insisted that they sit at the head table, hissing in her ear that it was expected of him, and if he didn't do the very few things that they expected him to do, he would be in more trouble than she was worth. When his grip on her wrist tightened enough to be painful, she meekly relented, and walked by his side to the end of the head table, all the while trying to ignore the apologies that he was whispering in her ear.  
  
Kaoru sat at Battousai's side, her composed face giving away nothing of how nervous she was, as were her thumbs, which were fidgeting under the tablecloth. Battousai reached out and discreetly took one of her hands in his, giving her a reassuring squeeze. It wasn't that she disliked people, although she was certainly more wary than she used to be, but this kind of event was straining even for her with her instilled manners and forced poise. She didn't like to be fake.  
  
The man at the center of the table was still droning on, though long ago Kaoru had tuned him out. Her attention was recaptured, however, when she heard her name, or rather, her father's name.  
  
"I'd like to take a moment to commemorate Kamiya-san, may his soul ever be at peace, for the many contributions, not only monetary but in an overall sense of good will, that he made to this company."  
  
A firm pressure on her hand reminded Kaoru that Battousai was still there; she realized that she appreciated his support, as unlikely as it would have seemed to her before.  
  
"We're pleased to have with us tonight, Kamiya-san's daughter." Kaoru's head snapped up in a moment that was entirely in opposition to all the training she'd had, both as a swords and martial artist, and as a "lady." No sudden movements that were unplanned for. "Please allow me to extend my deepest sympathies and condolences to Kamiya Kaoru, whose presence tonight is an unlooked-for but pleasant surprise."  
  
Battousai swore under his breath as Kaoru nodded politely. She was handling this well, he thought. Everything that had been thrown at her, she'd taken in stride. What kind of man was that doing the speaking, anyhow, to draw all that attention to Kaoru? Battousai scrutinized him more closely. Ah. An American.  
  
A few more excruciating minutes of "thank you"s and celebratory words congratulating the success of the company, and dinner was served. A quiet "Thank God" passed Battousai's lips. This was something he could endure. The voice of the speaker, not to mention the way he called focus on Kaoru, made him want to kill the man right then and there. At least food didn't go on and on in monotone.  
  
To Kaoru's great relief, Battousai didn't attempt to make conversation during dinner, choosing instead to glance at her every now and then. It was as if he was checking to make sure she was really ok. Once, they met gazes, and she could, for once, read his expression. He was offering to leave if she wanted to; she shook her head slightly. She was alright, as alright as she ever was.  
  
When dinner was finished and the plates cleared away, Battousai took Kaoru by the hand and directed her to a remote and shadowed corner where he peered intently at her. She leaned back when she felt his breath hot on her face.  
  
"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked suddenly.  
  
"Yes." Maybe she wasn't, she wasn't sure.   
  
"I'm not going to force you to stay if you don't want to be here," he dropped his voice as people walked past.  
  
"But you'll keep me in your home if I don't want to be there?"  
  
Battousai chuckled, not the response she'd been looking for. "Sweetheart, you held a gun to my head. You can understand how I'd be a little suspicious, can't you?"  
  
"I suppose so..."  
  
"Let's not argue, anyhow. I want you to enjoy the evening."  
  
Nodding, Kaoru allowed herself to be maneuvered onto the dance floor. Battousai wrapped his arms around her, pulling her body close to his and swaying gently. Her body stiffened at the contact, but she tried to relax, telling herself that he couldn't do anything to her when they were in a crowded room like this. With his lips skimming her earlobe, he began to whisper to her.  
  
"I'll never hurt you," he seemed to say that often, but he sensed that she needed the reassurance. "I'll never let anyone else hurt you. I promise I'll protect you."  
  
The words were odd to Kaoru at the time, but he was being so sweet and kind that she couldn't say anything in reply. After a few moments of quiet thought, her head finally dipping forward to rest on Battousai's shoulder, she thought she might be able to respond coherently, but as soon as she opened her mouth to speak she was interrupted.   
  
The sound of gunshots rang in the large hall, causing people to scream and scatter. Battousai's grip on Kaoru tightened for a moment before he swung her away from the floor and shoved her through the door of the coat closet.  
  
"Stay here," he hissed through his clenched teeth, swearing and fuming as he slunk into the shadows, pulling a pistol out of the waistband of his pants.   
  
Kaoru blinked as she saw him moving off; she hadn't even noticed the gun. The man was good, she had to give him that. Watching him skirt the edges of the room, seemingly oblivious of the crossfire that was now blazing across the hall, she could sense raw power radiating like heat off his body. This was his element, obviously, she realized as he fired a few shots from a side wall, taking down three men. There were already bodies everywhere, dead and wounded men and women that were nothing more than pawns in this cruel game that she'd somehow gotten caught up in.  
  
Battousai blew his bangs out of his eyes quickly while he reloaded with fingers that knew what they were doing without instruction. Only a few more to go, and he could leave, make his silent escape before anyone realized who he was. A click from somewhere beside him alerted him to the presence of another gunman, and he shot before he asked questions. That was the way he always did things. If only he had his katana. Guns were certainly not his favorite weapons to work with, there was, to him, no honor in shooting someone. A two-year-old with his father's rifle could do that. There was no art to aiming and pulling a trigger, no dance. This was not his job.  
  
Wide blue eyes followed the entire scene in a sort of horrified fascination. If she could have turned away, she would have. But Battousai's icily cold glare, lithe power, and nimble movement kept her enraptured. He was beautiful as he rose to his full height, though it was diminutive in comparison to other men, extended an arm and with lazily perfect aim, shot the last man standing between the eyes, spewing blood, bone, and tissue all over the floor.  
  
What a way to end an event.

* * *

Having grabbed Kaoru and made a run for the parking garage, Battousai practically tossed her into the back of the limousine and leapt in behind her, breathing heavily. The driver sped off with a squeal of tires, heading a different direction than the way they came, presumably to confuse anyone who might have been keeping watch over them. It was then that Kaoru came to a conclusion: Battousai was paranoid, and in the worst way.  
  
She sat completely still as Battousai pulled her into his arms, his fingers trailing lightly over her now-ruined hair. His chest heaved, just slightly, as he held her to him.  
  
"I'm sorry you had to see that," he exhaled the words into the skin at her neck. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He kept repeating, stroking her hair when she finally allowed herself to break down and cry.  
  
So much death, too much death. Kaoru didn't like to see people die, hated it in fact. And here she was, being held and comforted by the man who was one of the premier artists in the very work that she loathed. And her arms were around him as well. The world was tilting upside down, it seemed to her. No longer was anything wrong or right, good or bad, up or down, it just was.

* * *

Kaoru laid in her bed, staring up at the ceiling. She'd clung to him, let him hold her and stroke her, kiss her forehead. But that was all. For someone she'd been so afraid of, it was strange. She no longer held any fear of him. She felt so much differently now. Over the course of the past few days, he'd worn her down. The darkness in him was still there, but he'd shown her that he wasn't all bad, that he was capable of human emotion.  
  
That night, amidst gunshots and spraying blood, she'd fallen in love with the hitokiri Battousai.

* * *

A/N: Wow. This took a LONG time to write. I had a lot of ideas and stuff, but I just never got around to actually writing it out. :slaps hand: Bad me! Whatever. I'm inspired, I really am. Seriously. But I'm freaking lazy, so who knows where that's going to go. This fic WILL be finished, eventually, because I know exactly what's going to happen. Fear not, brave readers! And now, it's is 10.44, and I have exams tomorrow. Excuse me as I go to try to capture some sleep. Even though the exams are only art and chorus tomorrow... Oh the challenge! More like the boredom... Love this radio station... "If you can come up with one good reason why we're doing all of this... we'd love to hear it." OO! Puddle of Mudd's "Control"! Wicked... :does a lil dance: Bedtime, anyhow... :snort: Yeah right...


	6. Window To Your Soul

**Constellation  
**MysticShadowWanderer  
  
Disclaimer: Bad news... my toe is severely injured. Good news... I found our vacuum cleaner!

* * *

Chapter Six: Window To Your Soul

* * *

The drifting scent of cooking woke Kaoru at twelve fifty-nine in the afternoon. Last night had been a late one, and it didn't help that she had been unable to fall asleep for more than an hour at a time because of the horrifying dreams that threatened to push her into insanity. She yawned and stretched, allowing herself to awaken slowly. Somehow, her day always seemed to go better if she had the time to be lazy before getting out of bed.   
  
Fifteen minutes later, she finally dragged herself up and into the bathroom for a quick shower. She discovered that she was famished when her stomach began to rumble incessantly. Grabbing the nearest clothes, which happened to be a pair of Battousai's pajama pants and her own white t-shirt, she shrugged into them and, wrapping a towel around her still-dripping hair, wandered out in the hall, heading for the kitchen.  
  
"Mm, that smells wonderful," she said as she walked into the kitchen, sniffing the air appreciatively.   
  
Battousai smiled at her; it really didn't take much to make her happy, despite all the privileges she'd had in life. Flipping the final pancake onto the plate, he set it down on the table next to a bowl of scrambled eggs.  
  
"It's a little late for breakfast, technically," he said. "But it's never too late for pancakes and eggs."  
  
"Absolutely," Kaoru agreed, her fork already halfway to her mouth.  
  
Battousai watched as she eagerly dug into the food on her plate, ignoring his own hunger just to take pleasure in her happiness. He smiled before shaking his head slightly and turning to his own plate. They didn't speak as they ate, with Kaoru glancing up at Battousai every so often; he noted that she looked somewhat nervous. What could that be about? Was it some residue fear from the previous night? He had the strong feeling that he was on the right path with that answer.  
  
"Listen," he said, setting down his silverware and running a hand through his bangs. "We need to talk, don't we?"  
  
A look of utter panic crossed Kaoru's face, but she quelled it with a display of talent that amazed even the normally-expressionless Battousai. "We do?"   
  
"Last night..." he began, "If that scared you, I'm infinitely sorry. But you have to realize that the man you saw out there, the cold, deadly assassin, and the man that you see before you now are both a part of me. I... honestly I don't know what to say. I can only promise to protect you to the best of my abilities."  
  
"Why... why do you promise me that?" she asked, inwardly rejoicing that he hadn't wanted to talk about her feelings; she didn't know why she thought he might have guessed that she loved him, when she thought about it. Chalk that one up to paranoia.  
  
"I," he was interrupted by the ringing of the phone. "Excuse me."  
  
His face went from concerned to grave within seconds of answering the call. "Understood. Yes sir." And that was all from his end of the conversation. Kaoru glanced at him curiously.   
  
"We'll talk more about this later," he assured her. "Right now I have some work to do."  
  
He stalked out of the kitchen rather abruptly, leaving Kaoru at the table, sitting there completely stunned. What had gone on to cause such a change? His good mood had been quite effectively spoiled, and he was serious, if not almost angry.

* * *

Kaoru spent most of the day on the couch, idly flipping through the channels. For a while, she watched From Hell, unable to be disgusted at its contents in view of recent events simply because it featured Johnny Depp. About halfway through the movie, however, Battousai came out of his room and sat down next to her.  
  
"What's this?" he asked absently.  
  
"From Hell," she replied in the same semi-vacant tone.  
  
"Hm."  
  
He watched for a minute, then turned to look at her. "Jack the Ripper..." he mused aloud. She blinked and glanced at him. Had she not seen the movie before, she wouldn't have known that if she started watching in the middle. "Change the channel. Now."  
  
Fumbling for the remote, she quickly followed his command. Settling for whatever cooking show it was that was currently on the Food Channel, she tore her gaze away from the screen to glare at him.  
  
"What was that for?"  
  
"I don't want you to watch that." He leveled a blank stare at her.  
  
For a moment, she simply gaped at him. Then, she exploded. "What the HELL is your problem?! Who do you think you are, telling me what I can and cannot watch?! I think that I am quite old enough to be able to watch televison without you telling me to change the goddamn channel!"  
  
Rage flashed through his amber eyes, but he tampered it quickly. "You will not raise your voice at me, woman," he hissed through his clenched teeth.   
  
"And who will stop me? You?" her tone was quieter now after her initial outburst.  
  
"Yes, the gods help you, me."   
  
A cynical laugh escaped her, causing him to grind his teeth. "The gods help me? What will you do to me? Don't give me orders."  
  
At first, she didn't know what it was that caused her cheek to sting, he moved so quickly. When she realized that he had slapped her, and hard, she jumped to her feet, standing akimbo and staring down at him. Only for a moment, though, was she looking down on him before he too was on his feet, with his arms crossed over his chest. She glared defiantly at him, leaning closer so that her face was near his.  
  
"If you ever hit me again, I swear to God..."   
  
The threat was broken off when he struck her, much more gently, across the face again. Her hand flew instinctively to her offended cheek, tears of anger and maybe just a bit of hurt welling in her eyes. After a brief period of standing and staring at each other, Battousai started to walk off, determined to stop this before it went too far. He was too tense, too upset from the phone call earlier, to be around this woman. She got under his skin, caused his emotions to spike where usually he wouldn't have any feeling whatsoever. It was unnerving. Before he could get around the couch to make for the relative safety of his room, a huge force hit him in the side and he crumpled, half on and half off the couch.  
  
Groaning, he looked up at Kaoru who was standing above him threateningly. There was nowhere for him to move, he realized. He was trapped between the couch and her body, which she'd just proved could be used skillfully in ways to injure him. The last thing he needed was to be hurt before tonight. Suddenly, as if in a flash of recognition, he thought of how ridiculous this situation was. Slowly, unable to help himself, a grin spread across his face, which gave way to quiet chuckling, and then to an outburst of laughter.  
  
Kaoru tried to give him a hard glare, but found herself smiling as well. Battousai reached up and tugged on her hand, pulling her down in his lap. She stiffened, as was almost ritualistic now, but allowed it. Before she could get a grasp on what was happening, he was nuzzling his nose through her hair.  
  
"We are insane," he finally declared. "This is stupid." He sighed and rested his head on her shoulder.   
  
"Why didn't you want me to watch the movie?" she asked the question that she should have originally posed instead of shouting at him.  
  
He sighed against her neck. "It reminds me too much of myself. I have to kill tonight."  
  
Her eyes widened. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I shouldn't have yelled."  
  
"It's alright."  
  
"Tonight... is it dangerous?"  
  
There was no reply. She took that to mean 'yes.'

* * *

She paced the wall of her room, then moved to the hall, then the kitchen, and then the television room, and soon she was walking the entire perimeter of the apartment, save Kenshin's room and the hall bathroom. This was entirely too nerve-wracking for her.   
  
"Stay here," he'd said. "Don't even think of leaving the apartment. I'll be back later, I'm not sure exactly when. Don't wait up for me. Don't answer the phone or the door, although I highly doubt that you'll be getting any calls. I'm leaving you my cell phone, in case of an emergency. If it rings, only answer if the screen on the front says 'Katsura.' He should be the only one who knows the number anyhow. I'm trusting you."  
  
She'd followed all his instructions besides "don't wait up for me." That one seemed to be impossible. After a quick stop in the kitchen to grab a bag of chips in a futile attempt to occupy herself, she resumed her pacing.

* * *

'Oh goddamn it,' was the only thought that passed through Battousai's mind.  
  
He felt himself stumbling after the bullet hit him, and he knew he was too close to the edge, but he couldn't get his footing, couldn't regain his balance. The ground gave way to air as he slipped and dropped two stories to the ground. And then there was nothing but black.

* * *

The cell phone rang, startling Kaoru to the point where she was sure that she had just lost ten years of her life, at the very least. Tentatively, she reached out her hand and looked at the screen.  
  
"Katsura." She chewed on her lip for a moment, wondering whether she should answer it. Battousai told her that she should.  
  
"H-hello?"   
  
"Kamiya-san?"  
  
"Yes, this is she."  
  
"Be in the front lobby of the apartment building in no more than five minutes."  
  
"Why, sir?"  
  
"We're taking you to the hospital."  
  
"What? Why?"  
  
"There's no time to explain it now, but you need to see Battousai."  
  
There was a click and then the sound of dead air, in which the information began to sink in. Battousai was in the hospital? Oh God.

* * *

Apparently the doorman knew the man who came to get Kaoru, because he had no problem releasing her to the man. She was led quickly to a car and urged inside, all without a single word. Once inside and sitting with her seatbelt buckled, she looked at the man.  
  
"Kamiya Kaoru," he said, extending his hand. "I'm the man that Battousai undoubtedly refers to as Katsura-san."  
  
"It's... a pleasure to meet you, sir," she replied, instantly falling back onto her ingrained manners.   
  
"That's refreshing," he said with a smile. "I don't get much politeness in my line of work." His eyes scanned her quickly. "I only wish the circumstances of our meeting were better."  
  
"What's wrong, sir? What happened?" Her polite tone dropped away and panic slowly began to edge back into her voice.  
  
He sighed. "Battousai was on a particularly dangerous assignment, as you may already have known. He was shot, but he was lucky and the wound was not fatal, though it's complicated. However, he fell two stories, and is in critical condition at the moment."  
  
Kaoru's eyes were wide and expressive, showing Katsura all her fear. He merely patted her hand and let her have her silence in which to think and prepare herself.

* * *

They rushed into the hospital, only to be stopped by a nurse who told them they didn't have permission to see Battousai. He was in an unstable condition, and also was about to go into surgery to have the bullet removed and bones set, so they would have to wait.

* * *

Kaoru's foot tapped in time with her drumming fingers. She couldn't remember ever being this nervous in her life. It was unsure whether Battousai would live or die, and, having just recently discovered the depths of her feelings toward him, she didn't know if she could handle this type of pressure much longer.  
  
"Why don't you try to get some sleep?" Katsura said from where he sat beside her. "It's two in the morning and I doubt you'll get a chance to rest tomorrow."  
  
She ignored the urge to shoot him a withering glance. "I couldn't even attempt to think about it."  
  
"You must be hungry, at least." That she could agree to. "Wait here a minute, and I'll bring you something."  
  
A few minutes later and he was returning with a pint of ice cream. Not bothering to ask him where he'd obtained the treat, she thanked him and began to eat. After she'd eaten a little more than half the carton, she began to feel slightly more relaxed than she was earlier. Food always had that affect on her. By the time she'd finished eating, she was downright tired. Leaning back, she closed her eyes, unaware of the fact that she would almost immediately fall asleep.  
  
Katsura smiled and took the carton from her limp hand. 'Medication always does the trick.' Generally he wouldn't have done something like that, but the poor girl had looked ragged as it was, and he knew that she needed sleep, even if she didn't. If Battousai made it through the night, he had a lot of things he knew needed to be discussed with the girl, although she was unaware of that fact. Life was about to get harder for her, whether Battousai lived or died.

* * *

A/N: Oh my gods. I just realized that this chapter has been sitting on my hard drive for... however long it's been since I last updated. My apologies! I actually wrote up another chapter because I thought I'd posted this one already! Yikes. Where has my brain been?

Really old A/N: Ouch. That chapter sucked. I had a hard time transitioning... Seems like I'm putting everyone in the hospital in my stories these days. No particular reason. :shrugs: However, I do have a plan for this fic, and with this lousy chapter, I'm going to be catapulting it to bigger and better things. I hope. On a completely different note... I watched some of the Reagan funeral, the end of it actually. I have to say, I did cry. That moment there, when Nancy Reagan was up at the coffin, that was one of the most poignant and beautiful things I've ever seen. Was I the only one who saw it that way? I don't even know how to express what I felt, which is a big deal for me, because words are sort of my... thing... I guess... and I'm just totally blown away. It's one of those moments you remember in color and emotion, if you follow me. I don't think most people do. Ah well. I usually hate politicians, but I want to take a moment to say that Reagan was a great man, and I don't just say that out of respect for his death. So what if I'm only 16, I still know a good person when I see them. It's intuition, you know. And Reagan... well... he was one of the greatest people to live in a long time. I've been touched, which is difficult to do. I don't know why I'm rambling... That's all, I've said my piece. Come back for the next chapter, which, hopefully, won't suck :grin:


	7. Falling

**Constellation**  
MysticShadowWanderer  
  
Disclaimer: Just start living, that's the next thing on my list. (You really know your life is starting to suck when that song makes you depressed...)

* * *

Chapter Seven: Falling

* * *

"The hell I'm going to let him stay here!"   
  
Kaoru sat in the corner, watching the fight unfolding in front of her with a blank expression. Battousai had come out of surgery a few hours ago, and she was currently in his room, her legs tucked against her chest as she sat on an uncomfortable plastic chair and observed Katsura yelling at three doctors and a nurse who were trying to interfere with the way he wanted Battousai treated.  
  
It was obvious to Kaoru that Katsura wanted Battousai to be released from the hospital, she assumed for reasons of keeping his identity concealed more efficiently. But it was also obvious to her that Battousai was in absolutely no condition to be released.  
  
"This woman will take care of him," the words caught her attention and she looked up quickly. "She's certified."  
  
Kaoru didn't even blink, just gazed steadily at the doctors. If he was saying it, then he would be able to prove it; she only had to act as if she really was certified. A wave of panic coursed through her at the thought. Could she really take care of Battousai? What if he died while in her care? She would never forgive herself.  
  
The doctors eyed her critically; she certainly didn't appear to be any kind of nurse, much less a doctor. She was sitting with her arms wrapped around her legs like a frightened child; things did not look promising for the man currently lying on the hospital bed. The girl, however, stared back at them as if to dare them to ask any questions. They decided against it.  
  
"Fine," one of the doctors finally said with a sigh, pressing two fingers against the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "As soon as you get all the necessary paperwork filled out and prove to me that this woman is, indeed, a certified health care professional, I will release Himura-san to your care."  
  
"Thank you." Now that Katsura had gotten what he wanted, he was completely polite and easy to work with. Kaoru glanced at him incredulously; was everyone that Battousai associated with this insane? She figured that it was more than likely.

* * *

Several hours later, Kaoru sat in the passenger's side seat of a vehicle that she'd hoped that she would never have to ride in during her lifetime, an ambulance. Not letting her gaze shift from the road ahead of her, she consoled herself with the thought that she was driving away from a hospital rather than toward one, which seemed slightly better than the circumstances that would have to occur for the situation to be reversed. But only slightly.  
  
The ride, which felt overly long, was silent. Kaoru had absolutely nothing to say, and could tell that Katsura was not the type who enjoyed light conversation, though he was polite enough for her taste. Not like Battousai.  
  
Her eyes welled with tears at the thought. She knew very well that Battousai was still in danger, he still could die. And she couldn't handle that. She couldn't take losing her father and the man that she so recently fell in love with. He didn't even know that she loved him; he would probably just laugh at her if she told him.

* * *

"Take good care of him," Katsura said in parting. "I know you'll do your very best, but it would be a shame to lose him." He smiled at her, a gesture which was both encouraging and sad at the same time.   
  
"Yes sir," Kaoru whispered. "I'll do all that I can."  
  
"Good girl." With that, the man stepped through the door and shut it behind him; the sound held a sort of finality.  
  
A few minutes later saw Kaoru still standing in the same place. It was very difficult to believe that in the space of what felt like such a short night that she had been to the hospital and back to see a man that seemed so untouchable, unassailable, and now she was the one in charge of seeing to his care. The man was in critical condition still, and though Katsura had made sure that she was provided with all the technological gadgetry that could be obtained, Kaoru wasn't sure that she was able to do this.  
  
By the time she'd thought all of this through, she was on her knees on the floor, her head in her hands, crying to herself. All the tears that she'd withheld throughout the night came rushing forth, and she began to gently rock herself back and forth as she sobbed. Though she couldn't help but feel slightly wary at the thought, old habits die hard as the saying went, she wished that Battousai could hold her in his arms and tell her that everything would be alright. But if that were possible, then she would have no reason to be crying in the first place. The world could be so cruel.  
  
"I have to be strong," she whispered to herself. "I have to remain strong so that I can care for Battousai. No more tears."  
  
With her own words as her only inspiration, she dragged herself up off the floor and into Battousai's room, where he was lying on his bed, hooked up to all manners of machines that were charting information that Kaoru knew she would never be able to understand. Suddenly, a realization hit her in a flash of understanding. She pulled her cell phone out of her back pocket and set it down on the bedside table, where it would be in quick reach. One of her good friends was a doctor. Settling back in a chair that she'd earlier pulled over to sit next to the bed, she reminded herself that she could call Megumi whenever she needed to, that the woman would understand, even if she wouldn't be pleased if Kaoru called in the early morning hours. An explanation would make everything alright. Maybe, Kaoru thought, just maybe she could do this.

* * *

Kaoru yawned, covering her mouth with her hand. Glancing at the clock, she discovered that it was ten in the morning, and she'd been up all night. She'd found that there were no windows in Battousai's room either, which was a slightly depressing thought. All light that came into the apartment, it seemed, was artificial.  
  
Her attention refocused on Battousai as he groaned and opened his eyes, just slightly. Kaoru blinked quickly, trying to form words but finding nothing to say; this was a more than shocking event. Wasn't this man in critical condition? This question was quickly answered when he released all of his breath in one sigh and sunk back down against the mattress, his eyes falling shut again. She almost smiled at that, simply because he'd tried so hard to regain consciousness, but was momentarily forced to act in an almost childlike, innocent way. All the more, the moment made her want to take care of him.  
  
Reaching out, she smoothed the hair from his face. He looked much less dangerous when he was sleeping like this. Knowing that she had never been the type to thrash about in her sleep, she got up from her chair, muscles screaming in protest from being in one position all night, and laid down at his side. She curled up next to him and allowed herself to fall asleep.  
  
'Just for a little while,' she thought as she slipped away.

* * *

Battousai was extremely frustrated with the situation at hand. While his body was unable to be pulled back into cognizance, his mind was completely awake, and he knew that Kaoru was asleep in his bed, lying right next to him, but he could do nothing about it. Straining to force his body to respond, to move his arms or his head, was painful, so he tried to accept it and just lie still, to go back to sleep, but knowing that he couldn't put his arms around this woman was driving him crazy.  
  
'Nothing to do but sleep,' he told himself. 'I can sleep this off.'  
  
As a rule, he never got sick, never had any injuries that couldn't easily be healed. Of course, with his profession, he'd gotten some rather serious injuries, but nothing that he couldn't take care of himself. To be bedridden was less than pleasant.   
  
After a while, he felt his mind growing fuzzy, his body temperature rise. He tried to ignore it, but his mind swam in front of his closed eyes, and he could do nothing about it. If he could have screamed, he might have at that point, his condition was so overwhelmingly irritating. There was nothing to do but let his mind have what it wanted and fall heavily asleep.

* * *

When Kaoru awoke, the clock told her that it was a little after twelve in the afternoon, she could feel the heat that was practically radiating from Battousai's body. Looking him over quickly, she saw that his face was flushed and rivulets of sweat ran down his forehead. She stared at him in alarm for a moment, but realized infection when she saw it, and reached for her phone.  
  
"Megumi, I need your help."

* * *

Kaoru paced from one end of the room to the other. Battousai was going to kill her when he found out. But he didn't have to find out, did he? He probably would anyhow, though. This was a bad idea. A knock on the door drew her out of her panicked thoughts.  
  
"Kaoru, are you there?" a woman's voice called.  
  
"Yes, I'm coming!" Kaoru hurried to the door, pulling it open and greeting Megumi with a hug. "Thank God you're here, I don't know what I would have done."  
  
"Easy Kaoru," the older woman said, surprised that she was peeling Kaoru's arms from around her waist. "Now, where is this guy?"  
  
Kaoru led her into the bedroom and flipped on the lights. Megumi eyed the man who was lying limply on the bed. It seemed that Kaoru had done the best she could for him, placing a cook, wet cloth on his head and wiping away the sweat. But there was really nothing else she could have done without medical training.  
  
"Alright, you've done a good job keeping him comfortable," Megumi said, trying to calm the nervous girl at her side. "Now... what's his story?" This had to be interesting.  
  
"He's a bodyguard," Kaoru lied quickly. "He was on the job when he was shot, and he fell two stories. The hospital said that he would be fine if he made it through the first week. But they didn't tell me what to do if infection started to set in."  
  
Megumi raised one eyebrow. "And just why is he in your care? No hospital would have or should have released him this soon. When did this happen?"  
  
"Last night."  
  
"I don't know what they were thinking, and at this point I'm sure it's just better not to ask. I don't even want to know." She shook her head. "Listen Kaoru, I'm just going to treat him and get out of here; somehow I don't think this is the type of situation that I want to be in. But I'm going to help you, and him, because you both obviously need it."

* * *

Two hours later, Megumi was gone, leaving Kaoru with explicit instructions on how to care for the sick and injured man, and a bottle of antibiotics. Kaoru sighed wearily and flopped down in her bedside chair again. All of the machines and monitors that Battousai was hooked up to were completely confusing, and she rubbed her eyes as she tried to remember what Megumi said each one of them did and recorded. She decided, right then and there, that she was never going to be a real nurse, it was far too bewildering.  
  
Battousai groaned and Kaoru turned her gaze toward him. Megumi had given him medication that would help to lower his fever, but she could tell that he was still uncomfortable, which was understandable. She couldn't help but feel sorry for him as she picked up her wet cloth and wiped the sweat away from his forehead again. It was hard not to want to mother him, she was, after all, female and couldn't help that her first instinct was to take care of the poor man. Besides, considering the condition that he was in, he very well needed the mothering. It wasn't as if he could currently take care of himself.

* * *

A/N: Alright, alright, I know it took me forever to update. So shoot me. It's my own damn story after all. The thing I don't understand is why we fanfiction authors feel like we're on such a deadline, because, obviously, we are not. What's the worst that can happen? Someone stops reading the story? Ah, but that's unlikely, as well. Once you've read this far, you generally get hooked. Haha, sorry about your luck.   
  
On a more serious note, I feel like I'm shirking. I simply didn't feel like writing anything at all. Depression will do that to me, which typically explains my erratic posting habits. As for the rest of the story... I'm getting to it. I have some ideas floating around, and, as mentioned in chapter... uh... two, I do have the entire plot... plotted out. Wow, I didn't realize at first how strange that sounded. Cool... Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, as much bullshit as it was, and please do stick around (as if you had much choice at this point, eh?), because it's about to get interesting.


	8. Blind Rage

**Constellation**

MysticShadowWanderer  
  
Disclaimer: How do you get hit by a train? It's not like it hides behind the bushes and jumps out at you or something.

* * *

Chapter Eight: Blind Rage

* * *

"Kaoru?" Battousai's voice was weak and hoarse. "Where am I? What happened?"  
  
Kaoru's head snapped up and she jerked herself out of the sleep that she'd fallen into; again she'd slumbered in the chair by Battousai's bed. His amber eyes were clouded and confused, still slightly dazed with fever, as he gazed at her, if a bit unsteadily. She smiled widely, breathing a sigh of relief that he'd come back to her. For three days she watched and waited, and for three days he'd wavered between life and death. Twice she'd thought that she'd lost him, but he always managed to pull himself back into the realm of the living. Quickly, she brushed the tears away from her cheeks so that Battousai might not recognize her weakness.  
  
"You're at home, in your own bed," she finally answered, her own voice little more than a whisper. "You were shot, and you fell two stories. You were in the hospital, and you hurt yourself so badly, but Katsura insisted that you come back here and that I take care of you, and so here you are. But you're still sick and you broke some bones, so please don't try to move."  
  
Battousai scowled, frustrated with both the fact that he was unable to move and that he had no memory of the night he was shot. All he could remember was shattering glass, a cascading halo of fragments that were falling, always falling and breaking away and with him. It didn't make any sense.  
  
"I'm..." He turned his head as much as he could toward Kaoru as she spoke in broken pieces of sentences. "I'm glad..."  
  
"Glad of what?" he rasped.  
  
"That you're still alive," she replied. "I'm just... I'm glad."  
  
A puzzled look crossed his face, but he let it pass. After a moment of lying in complete stillness and silence, he groaned heavily. Kaoru looked at him in alarm.  
  
"Do you need something?"  
  
"What kind of painkillers did the hospital give you?"  
  
Kaoru blinked once and chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully. "I... don't remember... I was so panicked..."  
  
"Some nurse you are," Battousai remarked. "It's a wonder that I didn't die..." He sighed and closed his eyes in thought. "In my bathroom, in the medicine cabinet, on the second shelf, on the very left side, there should be an unmarked bottle. Bring it to me with a glass of water."  
  
Kaoru bit her lip to keep from reprimanding him for not saying "please," reminding herself that he was still sick and in extreme pain. She trotted off to do as he said, pushing open the bathroom door. For a moment she stopped and had to shield her eyes from the unexpected appearance of the sun. She had been wrong when she thought that the only light that came into the apartment was artificial. In his large, luxurious bathroom, there was a big window that offered a generous view of the city and let the sunlight bathe her for just a moment before she rushed to the medicine cabinet. Retrieving what he demanded, she hurried back out into the bedroom, blinking furiously at the change of light until she was once more able to see.  
  
She peeked in the bottle to see what she'd brought him, but she didn't recognize the pills. "What are these?" she asked as he quickly swallowed one, downing most of the glass of water that she handed him.  
  
"Valium," he replied thickly as he settled back and closed his eyes. "My entire body is feeling a very deep ache right now; it hurts..."  
  
Kaoru didn't know what that felt like, but she sympathized with him nonetheless. She reached out a hand and brushed his bangs away from his face, letting her hand linger for a moment on his forehead to check his temperature. He leaned into her touch, savoring the coolness of her hand.  
  
"Mm, that's better," he said absently, still thinking about how fragile she'd been when he'd last been with her, recalling how skittish she was and how he'd needed to show her what it was like to be cared for by him. He frowned when he realized that the situation had been completely turned around. He'd never meant for it to be like this, but when he thought about it, maybe it was better. She seemed to have warmed up to him a bit more, perhaps she would yet be his.  
  
A thin smile stretched across Battousai's lips as he listened to Kaoru hum quietly. After a few minutes he opened his eyes just enough to make out her hazy form, and reached out an arm to her. Kaoru watched him, seeing how he wanted her to come to him, but she hesitated momentarily. Finally it was his pleading eyes that drew her in, and she let him take her hand in his. With all the strength he could muster, which was merely a shadow of what he usually possessed, he pulled her down onto his bed next to him. Carefully, avoiding causing him any more pain, she curled up next to him, not saying a word.  
  
"Sing to me," he said softly.  
  
At first Kaoru thought she heard him wrong, but his eyes were sincere, if a bit fever-glazed, so she slowly and quietly began to pick out a melody. Her voice twined through the darkness of the room, wrapping itself into the corners to draw out the demons and shove them away. Smiling contentedly, Battousai closed his eyes again and let his breath go in a relaxed sigh.  
  
"_Et ex corde diligamus nos sincere_..." followed him as he slipped away into a deep sleep.

* * *

It was harsh to be awakened in the cold dark by the obnoxious ringing of an overly loud cell phone, and Battousai briefly considered throwing the phone at the wall before he realized that the only person who could possibly be calling him was Katsura, and that ignoring him would not be a wise choice.  
  
"Hello?" he slurred, his voice still sleep laden.  
  
"Battousai, how are you?" Katsura's voice seemed booming to Battousai's sensitive ears. "I take it you're still alive."  
  
"Of course, sir. I'm fine."  
  
"I'm sure that's an exaggeration, but it's good to hear that you're doing better."  
  
"Thank you, sir."  
  
"Tell Kamiya-san that she did an excellent job, and that I'll be seeing her soon."  
  
"Yes, sir, I'll do that."  
  
It was always a bit unnerving when Katsura hung up without saying goodbye, but he was a very busy man, and it was understandable. What was more disconcerting to Battousai at the moment was that Katsura had said that he would be seeing Kaoru soon. Being such a busy man as he was, Battousai himself rarely saw his employer. To him, when Katsura was making house calls, that meant that something was going on, that the man had some plan in his head, and he obviously didn't want to tell Battousai.

* * *

A knock on the door caught Kaoru off-guard, but didn't disturb the sleeping Battousai, who had recovered quite well in the past week. Jumping up from the couch and straightening her clothes and hair, she opened the door with considerable caution. Relieved to find that it was only Katsura, she stepped aside to let him in.  
  
"Would you like anything?" she asked politely, inadvertently slipping back into the role of a well-groomed and trained hostess, despite her general disgust for the act she was conditioned to fall back on. "Battousai is asleep in his room right now, would you like me to wake him so that you can speak with him?"  
  
"No, thank you," Katsura said with a smile that somehow struck Kaoru as more sad than warm. She momentarily wondered why. "I'm actually here to talk with you, as a matter of fact."  
  
"Oh?" She raised an eyebrow in mild curiosity. "What of, may I ask?"  
  
Her calm, poised manner was somewhat off-putting to Katsura, but he continued.  
  
"I was informed by a very reliable source, which is best to remain nameless, I believe, that just before Battousai lost consciousness after his fallen, he muttered your name. This leads me to believe that he cares more for you than he should, and that quite possibly you have become a distraction to his work. Though I regret to make such a decision, I'm afraid that I cannot risk having my top assassin injured again, and that it would be best for everyone if I assume responsibility for your care from this point forward. I am aware of the fate of your father, as he was a great contributor to our company, though I'm sure he didn't know of all that went on behind the scenes, and I feel as if it's the least that I can do to make sure that you are comfortable and safe."  
  
Kaoru instinctively backed away in the direction of Battousai's room as Katsura stepped toward her. He bypassed her, however, and silently went into the room. A few seconds later he reappeared, and, before Kaoru could realized what was going on, grabbed her by the upper arm and hauled her out of the apartment, clapping a hand over her mouth to keep her from screaming.  
  
"You have to believe me when I say that I'm truly sorry about this," he said as they traveled downward in the elevator. "I would rather not have to resort to this violence, especially with a woman as nice as you, but I have no choice in this. I'm sorry."  
  
Kaoru ground her teeth together and refused to answer him. He thought she was a nice woman, and she could be, but she was about to prove to him just exactly how irritating and difficult she could be, not to mention dangerous.  
  
She was silent all the way to the ground floor, out the lobby doors, and into the awaiting car. It was only when Katsura was in the seat next to her, the car's doors were shut and locked, and he was respectfully leaving her be that she exploded.  
  
"Who do you think you are to take me like this?!" she exclaimed. "You've just kidnapped me, you realize? You think that because I'm fatherless and disowned by my family that I'm just going to bend to your will and allow you to drag me wherever you think fit? How long will it be before your conscience is cleared of my father's death and you 'have no choice' in setting me loose on the streets to fend for myself? Who do you think you are?"  
  
With her questions posed, she refused to let him answer, but instead drew her hand back and backhanded him across the face with all the force she could, which was more than indicated by her small build. Katsura put a hand to his cheek in shock, but didn't make a single move.  
  
"I deserved that, I know," he said finally. "But you can't change my mind, no matter how angry you get."  
  
Kaoru leveled an intimidating glare at him. "I hate you," she hissed.

* * *

Battousai woke up feeling cold. He reached blindly to the side in the darkness and found his suspicions to be confirmed. Kaoru was not next to him. For the past week she'd slept curled at his side, keeping him warm and staving off the hellish nightmares that he was wont to have. Sitting up gingerly, he called for her, and open hearing no answer, reached over to flip on the light.  
  
It took a few minutes for his eyes to adjust to the sudden brightness; he much preferred darkness. He struggled up and slowly pushed himself out of bed, wary of his broken ribs and left arm. After taking a moment to wrestle himself into a shirt, he padded out into the television room and then to the kitchen after he discovered that she wasn't watching TV. When she wasn't in the kitchen, worry began to settle in the pit of his stomach. Still, he searched the apartment thoroughly before he allowed himself to panic. Her clothes were all still in her room, so she hadn't left him; the blanket on the couch was still tousled and the television was still on and turned to one of the movie channels. It seemed impossible that she could be gone. But she was nowhere to be found.  
  
He hurried back into his own room, and looked futilely in the bathroom and then the walk-in closet, but she was absent. Just as he sat down on the edge of his bed to run his hand through his hair despondently, he noticed an envelope with his name on it sitting at the base of his lamp.  
  
"What the hell...?"  
  
Reaching out and grabbing it, he fought with it for a moment to attempt to open it with one arm in a sling before finally ripping the end off with his teeth. Pulling out the letter inside, he scanned it quickly and then crumpled it violently in his fist.  
  
"Goddamn him."  
  
Katsura had his Kaoru. HIS Kaoru. There was no mistake about it, even though she may not have been aware of it, the woman belonged to him, and Katsura knew it. He had written out all of his paper-thin excuses, and they only made Battousai angrier. What irked him the most, though, was that he was almost entirely sure that Kaoru would not have wanted to go. If he found out that Katsura had used force to abduct his woman, the gods help him...  
  
The urge to kill someone had never been so strong in Battousai before, and had he been in his right mind, he might have been slightly frightened of himself. But at that moment, all he wanted was to see Kaoru back in his arms, no matter what the consequences. He would get her back.  
  
He was in the parking garage before his mind had time to process any sort of plan. His katana was strapped to his back under his coat, which was considerably difficult to get on in the condition that his left arm was in, and he had a pistol at each hip. He didn't know whether he would need to kill someone or not, but he knew that if the situation arose, he wouldn't hesitate and he would be prepared.

* * *

Luckily for Battousai, he had been riding motorcycles since he could drive, otherwise he would have had some difficulty operating the vehicle with only one arm. As it was, he was weaving between traffic at a breakneck speed, intent only on getting to Katsura's apartment as quickly as humanly possible.  
  
He slid to a stop in front of Katsura's building, and didn't bother buzzing the doorman to be let in. Instead, he pulled out a pistol and with two shots shattered the entire front door. Ignoring the panicked screams of a woman who happened to be standing at the foot of the stairs, he holstered his gun and moved forward until he felt strong arms grasp him and slam him to the ground. Luckily for him, he twisted to avoid falling on his broken arm, but he still growled as pain shot through his ribs and chest.  
  
The big, burly looking security man who was staring down at him never saw Battousai pull out his gun, and never realized that he was about to die. He only felt the pain of a bullet lodging itself firmly in his heart, and felt the floor rushing up to meet him as he fell. Battousai jumped up and resumed his course to the elevator, waiting impatiently as it reached ground floor and the doors opened. Not waiting for the two people inside to exit, he pressed the button for the twentieth floor and they were on their way up.  
  
The dark-haired man that was standing next to him should have seen the murderous glint in his eyes, and should have left him alone. But people could be so stupid, and this man was compelled to tap Battousai on the shoulder and speak his mind.  
  
"Excuse me! You are not the only person in the world, you know! Other people have places to be!"  
  
Battousai spun around, his eyes narrow and his katana suddenly in hand. He slowly, tortuously, lifted the blade until it was horizontal against the man's neck. Suddenly the man wasn't so brave.  
  
"Don't worry," Battousai said with a smirk. "Soon there'll be one less person in the world for me to bother with, and you won't have any troubles at all. Think of it as a favor."  
  
"Please! Don't kill-"  
  
His plea was cut short when Battousai slit his throat and threw him against the wall of the elevator. All of this took place within the space of a few seconds, and the elevator signaled that it was time for him to get off. The woman who had been getting off at the ground floor had fainted when he killed that annoying specimen of a man, and before the doors closed behind him, he considered killing her, just for the fun of it.  
  
There was no time, he decided as he stormed off down the hall. There was also no time to knock on Katsura's door, which he quickly kicked in, sending splinters flying. Katsura was sitting at a desk, and looking up in complete shock, pen in hand and poised to write what was certainly an infinitely important document. Battousai glared at him with all the hate he possessed.  
  
"Where... the HELL... is she?" he growled furiously.  
  
"I don't know, Battousai," Katsura said calmly, despite the fact that Battousai seemed dangerously close to setting him ablaze with his mind.  
  
"You fucking liar!"  
  
"Pardon your French."  
  
"Goddamn you! Where IS she?!"  
  
"You are not going to get that information from me, my boy."  
  
"Then you will not have anyone assassinated by me, old man."  
  
Katsura blinked, and then stared sedately. "So be it. You will not be hearing from me once you're in jail. I hate for this to be the way things end, Kenshin."  
  
"Don't call me that," was all that Battousai could grind out through his tightly clenched jaw. He pulled out a pistol and aimed levelly between Katsura's eyes. "Where are you fucking keeping her?"  
  
The man remained frustratingly serene. "I've told you, you are not going to get that information from me."  
  
"Do you like to die?"  
  
"You wouldn't kill me."  
  
Battousai swore and stormed out of the room, furious at Katsura for both not telling him where Kaoru was and for always being right. All he knew about her whereabouts now was that she wasn't in Katsura's apartment because, had she been there, he would have felt her presence. There were too many places that she could be, too many options and he didn't want to waste a second.

* * *

"Don't kill me!"  
  
The words rang in Battousai's head as he threw open the door to an old, abandoned storage warehouse. His rage was uncontainable, and anyone who'd stood in the way of his search for Kaoru was now dead. The mental count he'd been keeping ended somewhere around twenty when he lost track in his fury. It was like a bad movie playing over and over again in his head, and it was driving him crazy. Waking up, being alone, Kaoru nowhere in the apartment, his panic, that god awful letter...  
  
"Hello?" That was her voice! "Is someone there? Please, someone let me out!"  
  
The voice was faint, and coming from above him. She was on the second floor, then. He rushed up the nearest stairway before calling out to her. Relief rang out in her trembling vocalizations as she continued to yell for him. He followed the sound until it was loud and clear and coming from behind a door. He quickly kicked it in and hurried inside.  
  
"Battousai!"  
  
Kaoru was sitting in a chair with her hands tied behind her back, crying. Without having to even think about what he was doing, he slashed away the ropes that had reopened the scars on her wrists and pulled her into his chest. She sobbed loudly, not caring if he heard.  
  
"They... Katsura said... take me somewhere... comfortable," she gasped. "They brought me... here... That bloodstain..." She pointed with a violently shaking hand. "Is my father's!"  
  
Battousai pressed her face firmly against his chest and walked her out of the room, trying his best to calm her.  
  
"Sh, sweetheart, we're going back to my apartment now," he said soothingly. "Can you hold onto me on my motorcycle?" She nodded weakly. "Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes," she replied. "Just please... please take me back."  
  
He hugged her tightly with his good arm and the hastily led her out of the building. His motorcycle was waiting in front of the warehouse, and he made sure that she was securely seated before taking off into the street.  
  
The route was slowed by ambulances at almost every corner. Kaoru gasped in shock when she came to a realization. She wasn't blind, she saw the bodies.  
  
"Battousai... you... oh no."  
  
"Hush, don't draw any attention to us," he said as they passed an ambulance and sped through a green light. "We have to get back without being noticed."  
  
Kaoru buried her face in Battousai's shoulder. This was not good.

* * *

A/N: Whoa. Long time no see. I was on vacation, then at the county fair, and then I had some computer trouble. So I made this chapter a little longer to apologize. Actually, that's a lie. It's only longer because it came out that way. Ha! :cough: Right... Battousai lost it... I've always wanted to make him do that. Good times! Ah yes, and the line from the song, "_Et ex corde diligamus nos sincere_," is from "Ubi Caritas," is Latin, and means "Let us now without any reserve or deception love one another." It's actually a religious song, but what the hell, I like it. It's very beautiful, and is sung by Connie Dover. I would highly suggest downloading it, or buying the CD that it's on, "Celtic Spirit." (Excellent, excellent CD, one of my favorites.) Now that I've finished with my seemingly obligatory music suggestion, I have to go work on other fics to attempt to get them posted by tomorrow! Hope you enjoyed Battousai's spaz out.


	9. Your Sins Into Me

**Constellation**

MysticShadowWanderer  
  
Disclaimer: Why do I even bother with these?

Warning: Lemon. Lots of lemon. Little kids... I know you're going to read this anyway, and frankly, I don't care. Don't blame me for your corruption you little bastards.

* * *

Chapter Nine: Your Sins Into Me

* * *

The shaking of Kaoru's limbs was unable to be calmed, and Battousai's lingering rage was of no help to her. With violently trembling hands, she fumbled with the doorknob to the apartment, and found herself useless to open it. Battousai eased her hands away and pulled the door open for her, watching her carefully as she went straight to the couch and sat down, coat, shoes, and all. She wrapped the blanket that she'd left there around her shoulders and rocked herself back and forth as she sobbed.  
  
"Damn," Battousai swore softly.  
  
He'd told her that he would protect her, and he'd failed on that account. He'd been so careless as to let himself be shot, and then he wasn't strong enough to take care of her like she deserved. And he'd killed so many people, so many people that really didn't deserve to die. Innocent people on the street had fallen beneath his blade. That wasn't the way it was supposed to be.  
  
"Damn it all!" he shouted, reaching out with his good arm to swipe a vase off a nearby table and send it to the floor to shatter.  
  
The wild, angry action caught Kaoru's attention swiftly, and she looked up at him with tears rolling down her face and fear in her eyes. He met gazes with her, and instantly knew that this was a side of him that he'd never wanted her to see. But it wasn't his fault, he was just so angry. There was no helping it.  
  
After Battousai took the legs off a chair with his katana and threw another vase against the wall, Kaoru leapt up, tossing her blanket aside, and grabbed his arm as he made to put his fist through the wall. He spun to face her, eyes swirling with emotion. She shrank away from him slightly, but couldn't help but be drawn to those eyes, eyes that were normally cold and unreadable.  
  
"Enough," she whispered. "It's not your fault."  
  
He shook his arm free of her grasp so that he could pull her body against his, ignoring the pain that shot through his broken arm that was trapped between them. His breathing was erratic as he held her to him, hiding his face in the crook of her neck.  
  
"I made a promise to you, and I broke it," he said quietly.  
  
"No. You saved me, Battousai. You saved me."  
  
Pressing his lips to the skin of her neck, he kissed her fervently, trying to drown out the feelings of failure and anger that were threatening to overwhelm him. She clutched at his back, her hands fisted in the material of his shirt. The last thing he wanted to do was scare her, and he knew just how frightened of him she had been. She seemed to have shed that fear, but would she pick it back up later? It had happened before.  
  
"Kaoru," he said, pulling back slightly so that he could see her. "Kaoru look at me."  
  
Lifting her chin with two fingers, he forced her eyes to make contact with his. He read no fear, no regret, only sadness and loneliness that he wanted more than anything to dispel.  
  
"What do you want from me, sweetheart?" he asked softly.  
  
She blinked and stared at him somewhat blankly. It confused her that he was giving her a choice. Then again, he'd done so from the beginning. If she were being honest with herself, she would admit that she was slightly afraid of him and his violent anger that still lurked just behind the concern in his eyes. But her love and desire for him made that fear seem inconsequential; she took him by the hand and led him into his bedroom.  
  
As they tumbled into bed, Battousai on top of Kaoru, he reached for the ties to his sling, freeing his broken arm. It was in a cast, and he consoled himself with that. Kaoru yanked out the tie that held his hair in a high knot, and he hissed as she took a chunk of crimson hair with it. The unapologetic look on her face was quickly driving him crazy. Oh, she was everything that he'd imagined that she would be. He'd known, from the moment he'd met her, that she was full of passion, and it had been slow torture to have to restrain himself when he could, at times, see so clearly in her eyes what she could do and what she could be.  
  
Battousai sat up as Kaoru pushed herself away from the edge and further into the middle of the bed. She looked so delightfully decadent, the expression on her face so playfully fierce, that had he not known better, he would have thought that she had spent years learning what he liked. She pouted as he sat completely still before she stretched out one still-booted foot to him. Not needing to be told twice, he swiftly unlaced and removed the shoe, tossing it disdainfully across the room, soon to be followed by the second boot and then her socks.  
  
Kaoru leaned back on one elbow and reached out the other hand to Battousai, who took it eagerly in his one good hand and leaned forward to swirl his tongue around her palm and rasp his teeth across her skin. Her intake of breath when he drew each finger into his mouth erotically was savored by him, and he wanted to test her the best way he knew how. He wanted to know what made her gasp, what made her moan, what made her scream. She closed her eyes and flopped down on her back as he made his way up her bare arm. The act of willing submission didn't pass unnoticed, and Battousai showed her his gratitude by shifting his weight over hers, supporting himself with his uninjured arm, and setting his lips gently against hers.  
  
A sigh escaped her as she strained upward to deepen the kiss. Battousai teased her, withheld the pressure that they both wanted, until she opened her eyes to stare insistently at her. His lips curved into a smirk.  
  
"Say it, Kaoru," he commanded. "Tell me what you need."  
  
"Kiss me," she replied without hesitation. "Touch me... teach me."  
  
His eyes lit with her words. There was so much that he could teach her. But the first thing he wanted to show her, he knew, was how to love without being afraid. How to let herself go without worrying about the consequences.  
  
"Patience, love," he whispered against her lips as she moved beneath him, trying to bring his mouth down to hers.  
  
Finally, with her hands twined roughly in his hair, he relented, crushing his mouth to hers. She moaned and arched her body against his as he slipped his tongue into between her lips. His eyes widened when she pulled back and bit down viciously on his lower lip, leaving him with the copper taste of blood in his mouth. After taking a second to let his mind register her action, he grinned at her.  
  
"You like it like that?" He didn't give her time to answer before he tore her button-down shirt off and began to trail his mouth down her neck.  
  
Kaoru cried out as he carefully sank his teeth into the tender flesh at the juncture of her neck and shoulder. His tongue lapped at the wound as he sucked and licked at her skin. He reminded her of an animal, fierce and possessive, needy and heated. That fire in him in turn ignited her, and she found herself taking pleasure in the pain that he so deliberately inflicted on her.  
  
"Go ahead," he rasped as he fumbled with the snap to her bra. "Hurt me. Make me bleed. You know you want to. You've always wanted to."  
  
He lifted his chin to stare at her with amber eyes that burned her on the spot. The look on his face was begging for it, needing to feel so alive. But his condition wasn't unheeded by her, and she shook her head. He sighed and dipped his head to rest it just above her breasts.  
  
"I see," he said after a moment. "If you won't take what you want... I'll make you beg for it."  
  
Kaoru wasn't entirely sure that she liked the sound of his much less than empty threat. Battousai was suddenly off her body and off the bed, in the corner grappling with something. Before she could protest, he'd secured her hands to the head of his bed with a string that he'd materialized from... where?  
  
'Ah, my shoelaces.'  
  
She struggled, writhing her body to achieve more than just the too-light contact of his hand on her side, but he refused to let her up, further holding her by kneeling between her legs and then pinning her down with his own legs. It was an intimidating sight to watch him sit there and just stare down at her half-naked body while he was fully clothed. Intimidating and arousing. He smiled gently at her as he ran his hand from the base of her throat, between her breasts, down her stomach to circle her navel, and then to tug at the waistline of her jeans.  
  
"I think these need to come off, don't you?" he asked teasingly.  
"Take them off then," Kaoru said in a low tone. "If you want them off, take them."  
  
Battousai raised an eyebrow at her in approval. He wouldn't have guessed that she was so forward, so sure of herself. Then again, he wouldn't have guessed that he would have enjoyed it quite as much as he was. The seductive tone of her voice was humming through his veins and he close his eyes for just a moment. When he opened them to look at her, she lifted her hips slightly, asking without words. There was no hesitation in his hands as he swiftly stripped the rest of her clothing off, leaving her naked for him to admire.  
  
His touch was everywhere and nowhere at once, too fleeting to bring any satisfaction, and she bit her lip as he settled his weight next to her and ran his fingers tauntingly around one breast. She strained upward into his hand, needing the reassurance of his touch.  
  
"Tell me, sweetheart," he said with a smirk. "Just ask, and you can have whatever you want."  
  
"Touch me, Battousai, please," she whimpered, forgetting everything as he spread his palm over her breast, massaging gently.  
  
"I mean that," he said after a moment. "Whatever you need, whatever you want, is yours." He paused. "I don't want to scare you."  
  
The consideration that tempered the need in his voice sent heat rushing through Kaoru's body and she moaned softly. He smiled at her before bending down to take her lips in a soft, selfless kiss. He repeated the words, prompting her to ask for what she wanted, consoling her remaining fears, and healing her with the low baritone of his voice.  
  
"Battousai..." she whispered as he trailed his hand down her stomach and then lower until he reached his goal. She whimpered, arching into the tender press of his hand. "Love me," she moaned.  
  
He nodded and dipped his head forward to kiss her deeply, tugging at her bottom lip with her teeth, everything about him gentleness and thoughtfulness. The anger that had lingered in him was quickly drifting away as he sat up to watch the expression of pleasure as he stroked her into her climax. As she shuddered, he reached up and untied her hands, suddenly realizing that he had her tied up like her captors had twice before, a thought that disgusted him. After licking his fingers clean, reveling in the shocked look on her face, he laid down next to her, drawing her warm body next to his clothed one.  
  
It was so forbidden, so erotic, to Kaoru to lie completely naked when Battousai, still fully clothed, brought her to such heights of pleasure, but she would not deny him. She knew that she was his to do with what he wanted, and it could have made her cry to think that what he wanted to do was show her how to love, to give no thought to his own desire as he touched and kissed her into ecstasy. His tender consideration made her want to show him the same pleasure, to treat him as he'd treated her.  
  
Kaoru gazed into Battousai's eyes, fascinated by the depth of the molten amber that she saw there. The fury was fading, being replaced with passion, desire, and a possessiveness that drove her insane.  
  
"Kaoru," he whispered, his lips against her temple. "I'm sorry."  
  
Her brow furrowed as he attempted to understand that. "For what?"  
  
"For tying you up like that," he replied quietly, taking both of her wrists in his free hand and bringing them to his lips, where he kissed the scars before running his tongue over them to clean off the blood. "I should have thought..."  
  
Kaoru shook her head. "No, it's alright."  
  
He smiled thankfully and released her hands, running his own hand up her throat to stroke the soft skin at the underside of her jaw. She turned to take another kiss from him, and in doing so, rubbed her body against his. Despite his plan to take things slowly, he felt that maddening desire rising in him again as she pressed herself against him.  
  
"Take off your clothes," she breathed against his lips.  
  
Within seconds, he'd completely removed every last article of clothing and was pinning her body down with his. The feel of hot skin on skin was intense, and he groaned low in his throat as he slid his body along hers. Her hands roamed over his shoulders and back, then down to his abdomen to trail circles with her splayed fingers. Their tongues tangled in a demanding kiss, and Battousai was surprised to note how hard he was panting when they came up gasping for air.  
  
He growled his shock when he suddenly felt Kaoru's fingers moving with gentle pressure down his arousal in a slow tease. The groan that escaped him was unable to be withheld, and he smirked down at her. The arrogant look left his face to be replaced with one of pleasure as she stroked him with her fingers. Where had she learned that? he thought with another groan.  
  
"Kaoru, sweetheart," he panted. "I need you."  
  
She reached her hands up to cup his cheeks and kiss him again, then nodded her assent. With a quick twist of his hips, Battousai joined them, closing his eyes with a heavy sigh that said so much more than he knew how to put into words. He trembled slightly as he laid over her, waiting for her to move first, still giving her the option to run away. This was for her, to heal her heart, and he didn't want to take more than he gave.  
  
Kaoru shifted, sending pleasure tripping down Battousai's spine. When she lifted one leg and wrapped it around his hips, his control snapped and he began to slowly stroke in and out of her. Her voice rose in a long, low moan, and she cried out for more. Nothing in him would allow him to even think of denying her as he quickened the pace. She dropped her leg to caress the backs of his legs with her foot, then to grind him more firmly against him, and he couldn't help the small yelp that he let out. To his utter amazement, Kaoru giggled at that. He smiled at her before thrusting in harder, determined to take her higher so that they might fall harder. Their voices harmonized in moans and groans as they strove for it.  
  
Battousai heightened the cadence, plunging into her insistently until she cried out his name, her voice a high cry that contrasted the low groan that he let out a few moments later. He let his weight fall over hers, his shaking arm unable to support himself, and her arms encircled him tightly, gladly accepting the heaviness of his body.  
  
A few moments later, Battousai rolled to the side and Kaoru sucked in a deep breath. A warm smile crept onto his face as she nestled into his side and he wrapped his good arm around her, fumbling to pull the sheets over them with his other hand. Kaoru finally helped him, chuckling at his frustration. With her head resting against his sweat-slicked chest, she sighed happily and nuzzled him with her nose.  
  
"I love you, Battousai."  
  
He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, and mumbled his reply against her hair.  
  
"Thank you, Kaoru."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For letting me teach you how to love again. I want to be the only one to remind you when you forget, for the rest of your life. Don't forget that, little one. You're mine."  
  
Kaoru smiled against his skin. That was his own way of telling her the same thing she'd told him, she knew. For whatever reason, he couldn't quite come out and say it, but in a way, what he'd said was better, more meaningful. With a yawn, she nodded sleepily and finally closed her eyes and allowed sleep to claim her after what felt like the longest day of her life.  
  
Battousai held her closer as he felt her surrender to her dreams, pleased that she was comfortable. Sudden pain shot through his ribs, which he'd effectively ignored, and he closed his eyes, willing himself to join his lover in sleep, if only to give his body time to heal itself. He marveled at how good it felt to fall asleep with this woman in his arms and promised himself that he would always know that feeling.

* * *

A/N: What a sucky chapter ending. Oh well! I considered ending it here for a minute, actually, but I have a bit more that I planned out, and if I planned it, well then I'll be damned if I don't use that effort. Wow. I just read over my plot that I still want to work, and I just realized that it's going to be a while before this is finished. Cool... I keep forgetting I have that much material. Good times. Anyhow, there was something I wanted to mention, but I forgot what it was, so I guess it wasn't important... I feel very accomplished tonight. At 4 AM I finished this, and I just so happened to finish new chapters for three stories tonight. Go me. Now that I've bolstered my self-esteem... Hey, I have to do it sometime! Aside from my wonderful reviewers, I'm the only one who praises me (which is why I love you guys). My family couldn't care less... Yeah, anyway... I have nothing else important to say, besides that "Flagpole Sitta" by Harvey Danger is stuck in my head and that song is and always has been kick ass. Ja ne! 


	10. Quick Reactions

**Constellation **

MysticShadowWanderer  
  
Disclaimer: Yay! Go me!

* * *

Chapter Ten: Quick Reactions

* * *

Both Battousai and Kaoru jolted awake at the loud, insistent pounding and shouts from the front door. Battousai's eyes went wide as he realized that they were calling for him to come out, to give himself up peacefully and let himself be arrested. He swore under his breath and jumped out of bed, hastily donning the clothes that he'd been wearing the day before. Kaoru sat in stunned silence for a moment, but came back to herself when Battousai shook her by the shoulders and demanded in a hissed whisper that she put some clothes on.  
  
"Himura, we know you're in there!"  
  
"Shit," Battousai growled. "We have to get out of here."  
  
As Kaoru was running back into the room, hopping on one foot and struggling to pull on a sneaker that she'd grabbed from her room, he took her by the wrist. There was no time to spend thinking about it; he knew he had to think of some method of escape and quickly. Kaoru watched his face as his mind raced through the possibilities, his expression growing more and more furious as he discarded option after option. Then, his face suddenly lightening, he decided.  
  
"The skylights in the bathroom," he whispered. "Go get a chair from the kitchen. Quietly."  
  
Nodding, she hurried to do his bidding as he reached for his katana, which was leaning against the wall in the corner. With practiced fingers, he secured it across his back, and continued to strap his nine millimeters to his hips. Kaoru came back in with the chair, and he lifted it out of her hands and motioned for her to follow him.  
  
Locking the bathroom door behind them, he positioned the chair. Within what seemed like seconds, Kaoru watched as he broke the skylight and jumped up through it in an amazing display of athletics, holding out his good hand to her and beckoning for her to hurry. She climbed out with relative ease due to his assistance, and he held her close to him as he led her across the roof to the fire escape and silently started down it. It seemed like they metal rungs of the ladder would never stop coming, and Kaoru was sure that the police would see them, they seemed so conspicuous as they descended, so when her feet hit pavement she heaved a huge sigh.  
  
Without a word, Battousai tucked her to his side and walked hastily out of the alleyway and down the street. The police were so intent on drawing him out of his apartment that they never saw the two slipping off in the other direction.  
  
"Don't make any sudden moves," Battousai whispered into Kaoru's ear. "Don't say anything, don't do anything that would set you apart from the crowd. We are going to Katsura's office."  
  
He offered her nothing else as they hurried on their way. Though she wondered what good that going there could possibly do them, but she had learned not to question his judgement. In his mind he had worked out the entire thing, and in a situation like this, it was best to just go along with whatever he said.

* * *

A huge office building loomed ahead of them, and Kaoru gulped nervously as Battousai simply walked in, hauling her along with him. She assumed that he was known here, which put her on edge, because surely they would have known what he did. But the man behind the desk nodded politely at them, and people were bowing respectfully to them. It didn't make any sense.  
  
Then the realization hit her. Katsura was not the type of man to set all of Battousai's colleagues against him. He would no longer keep the assassin's name out of police records or do anything to stop Battousai's imprisonment now that he had been disloyal to the company, but he had no malicious intent. She found herself feeling a bit sorry for Katsura, even. Battousai had threatened him, turned his back on him, and all because of her. It had been the only thing that the man could do to take her away when she began to enslave Battousai's attention, even though it was accidental. She shook her head to clear such thoughts. There was no time for this now. Perhaps later, if they escaped with their lives.  
  
Battousai skillfully navigated the winding halls of what was a labyrinth to Kaoru. Before she could readjust herself and attempt to decipher at least which direction they were headed, Battousai opened a door that proved them to be outdoors again. Sitting in front of them were two rows of sleek black helicopters. Kaoru's eyes widened and she glanced at Battousai.  
  
"We're going to... take one?"  
  
"Didn't you ever want to be a pirate when you were a kid?" He grinned at her, despite the seriousness of the situation. She could do nothing but blink.  
  
Battousai didn't wait for her answer before he took her by the hand and helped her into the passanger's seat of the largest helicopter. He slid easily into the opposite seat and watched her as she strapped herself in to make sure she was doing it right before he adjusted his own safety harnesses. With the flipping of a few switches, turning of knobs, and pressing of buttons, the copter roared to life and Battousai looked over at Kaoru with a reassuring smile.  
  
"Don't these things have tracking devices or something?" she yelled over the whirring of the air being sliced by the propeller.  
  
Battousai eyed her approvingly. "Very good," he shouted back, "that was quite clever of you. Most people wouldn't have thought of that. Yes, they do, but this is Katsura's personal helicopter, so it contains the master control system. We don't have to worry about them tracking us down for a while, and by then we'll be long gone."  
  
Kaoru wondered briefly if he'd had an escape like this pre-planned, but she gave it no more thought as they lurched off the ground and into the air. She shrieked involuntarily and pressed her hands into her eyes as Battousai maneuvered the helicopter with skill that frightened her. Every move that he made seemed dangerous to her, and she wasn't unfamiliar to riding in helicopters, but she trusted him as they sped off.

* * *

After a while, Kaoru began to feel the slight effects of boredom. Covering her mouth with her hand, she yawned widely. Land and water slipped by beneath her, which had at first been frightening, because there was no door on her side, or Battousai hadn't closed it, and she had felt as though she might fall out. But by the time they were passing over the Sea of Japan, she was used to the sensation. Vaguely she wondered how much fuel the helicopter had and how far they could get on it, but it didn't really matter. They would get as far as Battousai wanted to get, though she didn't know where that would possibly be.

* * *

Several painful hours later, they sat on a dock in China, their legs dangling out over the water. Battousai scowled as Kaoru sighed and leaned back, swinging her legs to try to regain some of the feeling in her feet. They'd been in China all of three hours and Battousai had discovered that he was already notorious for those murders. When the police had reported him to have allegedly left the country, word was sent around the world of who he was. It was this type of situation that he'd been trying to avoid all his life, and now he didn't know where to turn. Because he'd turned his back on Katsura, he would have trouble hiding with any associate of the company, unless they took pity on him. And he hated to be pitied.  
  
"There has to be somewhere," he murmured as he stretched out a bare foot to stir the water in thought. "Where can we go that murderers would be welcomed and our identities could be concealed?"  
  
"What about Russia?" Kaoru asked idly, less than half-serious.  
  
Battousai looked sharply at her. "Why do you say that?" Kaoru could see the proverbial wheels turning in his mind.  
  
"Well... Aren't they supposed to have a history of that sort of thing? You know, the KGB and all." She glanced at Battousai in surprise. "I was thinking about that movie, 'Triple X'; I was just joking."  
  
Battousai made a noncommital humming sound before he pulled his foot out of the water, shook it dry, and pulled on his socks and shoes. He stood and offered a hand to Kaoru. Eying him warily, she accepted it and then bent to put on her own shoes. There were no words between him as they walked up the dock and toward the landing pad where they'd left the helicopter, but Kaoru watching him suspiciously the entire long walk. Just what did he have in mind?

* * *

"Yes, we have no problem with that," the man behind the bar said.  
  
Kaoru couldn't believe that she was standing in a nightclub in Russia, watching as Battousai spoke quietly with the bartender. The last day and a half had been like one long dream, and she could barely remember the journey to Russia. It didn't seem possible that she traveled so far in such a short amount of time. Of course, she frowned, it also didn't seem possible that Battousai had murdered twenty-some people in his rage to get to her. None of this made any sense; it was all like a sick, twisted fairy tale.  
  
"This way," the bartender said, bringing her out of her considerations. She rose from her barstool and followed Battousai, who was close behind the man.  
  
A curtain was shoved aside and they stood in a hazy, smoke-filled room that housed many large poker tables. So this was the real income of the club. In the corner sat a man in an expensive Italian suit, which looked out of place. Kaoru glanced around with wide eyes as Battousai was introduced to him and took a seat across from the oily haired man. Kaoru stood behind him silently, trying to keep her distrust off her face and to give the man the impression that she was a submissive, unobservant, and, most importantly, unthreatening woman.  
  
"I can understand your situation, Mr. Himura," the man, Kaoru hadn't caught his name, said in a thick Russian accent that was every bit as oily as his hair. "And I'm sure that you can understand that to keep you concealed that I will require quite a bit of money."  
  
"I was prepared for that," Battousai responded coolly. "I can pay whatever price you ask."  
  
The man glanced at Kaoru, who didn't dare to meet his eyes lest he read her, and leaned forward to whisper conspiratorially to Battousai. The man seemed to think that there was some big secret in the amount of money that he was going to ask for, because he continually shifted his eyes toward Kaoru as if she weren't to be trusted. He smirked in a self-satisfied way after he told Battousai the amount, appearing to be quite pleased that he set a price so high that surely even a man wanted for murder would be loath to pay it.  
  
"That's fine," Battousai said, his face completely expressionless. "I expect to be able to make the payment in smaller amounts so that it doesn't arise suspicion as to a large sum like that being transferred all at once." It was not a question, not a suggestion. When the Battousai made demands, they were met.  
  
"Yes, that's fine," the man replied after a few moments of slack-jawed astonishment.  
  
"Then we will be taken to a room now."  
  
"Of course, Mr. Himura." The man scurried to his feet to do them the honor of being escorted in his personal car to his hotel, where the Battousai and his woman would be given one of the finest rooms.

* * *

Kaoru was the picture of calm and collection until the door shut and they heard the man's footsteps moving off down the hall. Then she burst out with an exclamation about how she didn't like that man, and he didn't seem at all trustworthy, and was about to continue before Battousai quieted her with his mouth. He kissed her soundly, then released her so that she could sit down heavily on the bed in complete silence.  
  
"He's not a man to be trusted," he said simply. "But he will be true to his word, and if not, then I'll be forced to kill him. He and I both know it, and that's what makes all this possible.  
  
"But how can we-"  
  
He pushed her to the bed and planted his lips firmly over hers. She sighed and wound her fingers into his hair, submitting to his dominance and agreeing silently to let him handle the matter. As they broke apart, he grinned at her.  
  
"I always knew that you would open up to me eventually."  
  
Kaoru slapped him playfully before she rolled over into the middle of the bed with a yawn. Traveling the world was enough to exhaust her, and she pulled a thick blanket over herself and fell asleep even though she was still clothed. Battousai smiled down at her and tucked the blankets closer around her to fend off the chill in the room before he stood. He stopped to look back at her momentarily, smiling again at how innocent she looked when she was so comfortable, and then left the room. He had to get to a bank, and then a few stores. If he was going to be making monetary transactions, he was going to want some kind of laptop computer, and they were going to need changes of clothes.  
  
He sighed and tugged at his bangs. There was a lot to get done, and somehow he felt as if the worst were yet to come.

* * *

Sorry about the long wait, my computer had some massive issues...

A/N: Oh. My. Gods. Screw talking about this chapter (all you need to know is that this is a transition to set up for big stuff), I just got back from the Warped Tour about an hour and a half ago (it's 12.05 AM, Tuesday the 17th) and holy SHIT did it kick ass. I had so much fun! We had to buy less-than-legal armbands to get in, and that cost $100, but it was WORTH IT! We saw.... uh... three bands that we couldn't figure out who they were, a little bit of New Found Glory, Billy Talent, Letterkills, The Casualties, Taking Back Sunday, Tiger Army, Anti-flag, Sugarcult, Yellowcard, Avenged Sevenfold, Coheed & Cambria, and Bad Religion. It fucking rocked! I met Sugarcult (my brother is never getting that shirt back now... it's all autographed :grin:), the lead singer from New Found Glory (whatever the hell his name is... I can't read it anyhow), the drummer from Staring Back (we couldn't say no, so we had to buy their CD, turns out that it kicks ass... plus he gave us free pins), one of the members of Mourning Maxwell (who sold me a compilation CD for $1), and the lead singer of Nor Am I, who was awesome. I felt so bad because we had no money left by the time we talked to him, and the music was EXCELLENT. And he was really hot, so that of course makes me want to buy a CD. But we listened to the music, because all he really cared about was to get people to hear it because he loves what he does. I got a hug from him :biiiiig grin: and we all stood around and talked for a while. Sugarcult was fucking awesome, and Tim's signature rocks (it's Japanese-styled!). And damn he's REALLY hot in person. Anyhow! So I went from not even being able to go to going and having a hell of a good time. (Spitting ice at people is always a great pastime.) In closing, this chapter sucked, and Avenged Sevenfold puts on one HELL of a show. 


	11. Sincerely

**Constellation **

MysticShadowWanderer  
  
Disclaimer: The Cure rocks the socks that I refuse to wear. 

* * *

Chapter Eleven: Sincerely

* * *

It was calming to Battousai to watch Kaoru sleep. The way her chest rose evenly with every deep breath made him think of what this woman had done for him, how she had changed him, and, most of all, made him feel all the more protective of her. He carefully and slowly crawled under the covers, scooping her body up next to his, needing her warmth to preserve his sanity. A soft sigh passed her lips, and he smiled at how content she seemed. The smile faded away after a moment when he realized that she still wore the clothes that she'd arrived in. He'd been away for several hours, buying necessities and working out business deals. With a sigh that was much less contented than hers, he reluctantly slipped out of bed to rummage through the bags he'd dropped by the door.  
  
Finding a large shirt that he deemed appropriate, he yanked the tags out and tossed it on the bed. Chewing his lip thoughtfully, he debated on whether to wake Kaoru or not, finally deciding not to disturb the sleep that she needed after such a trying few days. Taking great care to move her as little as possible, he removed her clothes and slipped her into the oversized shirt, smiling gently as she opened her eyes a bit and then stretched a hand up to stroke his cheek, letting it fall as sleep rose up to reclaim her.  
  
She was the light to his dark, he'd realized long ago. But there was something about her that screamed, calling out to him, cried of misuse and distrust, and he knew that she was not entirely innocent as he'd made her out to be at first. Without darkness there could be no light.  
  
"Battousai," she murmured as he eased himself back into bed, drawing the thick blankets more closely around them. "Hold me," she whispered huskily.  
  
"Mm," he assented wordlessly in a way that spoke more words than any sound she'd ever heard.  
  
His body was firm but soft and she felt safe in his steady and gentle hold as his fingers stroked lightly at the skin of her cheek. Turning to place a kiss in his palm, she closed her eyes and relinquished the wavering grip that she had on reality, no longer able to keep up her semblance of alert when surrounded by his warm, comforting scent. Battousai felt her body grow heavy with sleep and still the motion of his fingers, tucking his face gently into the crook of her neck and allowing himself to let down just enough of his guard to join her in a light sleep.

* * *

Yawning and stretching, Kaoru blinked her eyes open until she adjusted to the light in the room. Battousai didn't move where he lay next to her, but she knew that he was quite awake. She nudged him gently with her elbow and when he refused to stir she put a bit more force behind the movement. A low growl in her ear told her that he'd felt the last one, when she emphatically jabbed her elbow into the area of his ribs that she knew was still tender from his accident. Chuckling quietly, she rolled over to face him, and he nipped at the end of her nose.  
  
"Sleep well?" he asked, his voice holding no trace of the hoarseness that it would have possessed had he just woken. He'd been up for a while, she thought, and all he'd done was hold her. It was a nice feeling.  
  
"Yes," she responded. "Very well. This is a very nice place."  
  
Battousai nodded at her, brushing his fingers through her hair only to stop as she winced when they caught on a tangle.  
  
"Go take a shower," he suggested. "You need to wash this." He tugged tenderly on a lock of her hair for emphasis.  
  
Agreeing wholeheartedly, Kaoru stretched once more and climbed out of bed, glancing briefly at the clock. It was a bit past twelve in the afternoon, but it wasn't as if she were on some sort of a schedule anyhow. Digging through the bags that Battousai still hadn't moved from their place by the door, she found some clothes that looked suitable enough, and headed off into the bathroom, closing the door behind her with a click.  
  
Battousai leaned back against the thick pillows that were scattered in the general vicinity of the headboard of the bed, and watched the closed door. Now that he'd finally gotten what he wanted, that being Kaoru, he wasn't sure exactly what to think. He thought that perhaps he should feel guilty. After all, he'd been the one to offer the apple to the timid one, who'd convinced her that it was alright. And then he'd ruined her. He'd killed for her. But she had that kind of an affect on him, and he wasn't sure he quite understood. Though he couldn't quite comprehend the feeling, he was certain that he'd fallen in love with this fiery beauty, this sarcastically wonderful little sprite that seemed so doll-like yet so powerful. Was that love, when you would kill for someone, even if you had to kill yourself? He didn't know, but if it wasn't, he didn't want to love her. If love was not so complete as the way he felt for her, he didn't want to feel it.

* * *

Kaoru groaned slightly as the hot water hit her aching body, the sensation glorious and just what she needed after all that had happened in the last few days. Her thoughts lingered for a moment on how good it felt to rinse all the dirt, imagined and not, away, but soon enough she was thinking about Battousai. He'd killed for her. Yet no matter how hard she tried not to, how much she knew she shouldn't, she loved him. She needed every bit of him, the blood and the pain, the warmth and the love. She needed his sweet insanity and the way his body trembled as he held her. No matter how much she knew she should shy away from him, run away as a terrified little child would, she could not. And she didn't want to.  
  
Her fingers worked the shampoo through her long hair with delicate precision and for a few moments she struggled with a large knot that was proving quite difficult to remove. After a couple minutes of frustration, she felt her hands being eased away, and she spun, startled. The quick movement caused her to slip, and she gasped when she realized that she was going to crash to the tiled floor of the shower. But she never hit the ground, and was caught by strong arms that refused to let her endure such injury. She opened eyes that had reflexively squeezed shut when she knew she was going to fall, and was met by an unwavering amber gaze. As if by their own will, her fingers stretched up to run through Battousai's now-dripping crimson hair, and he smiled at her.  
  
"You don't mind if I join you?"  
  
She could almost have laughed at his mundane statement, but didn't. Something in his stare wouldn't let her laugh, the heat behind the smile made it impossible. Her fingers slid down his arms and she stopped with a gasp.  
  
"Your cast!" she exclaimed. "You can't-"  
  
"Hush, love," he quieted her. "Leave it be, I'll be fine."  
  
There was no use in arguing with him. Especially not when his convincing argument had turned to passionate kisses that he was lavishing upon her neck and shoulders. Tracing his scar with her fingertips, she grinned when he turned to nip at her fingers. In some ways, it was soothing to know that he was here with her, that he wanted her so much. Since her father's death, she had needed someone to keep her from feeling all the loneliness that she was building up inside. How ironic it was that she'd set out to kill this man not so long ago, and now she was here being loved by him. She blinked out of her trance to find him staring at her, his head tilted slightly as water continually plastered his thick bangs to his forehead. Reaching up, she pushed them aside with a smile.  
  
"What are you thinking, sweetheart?" he murmured as he dipped his head to rest it on her shoulder.  
  
"Nothing," she whispered, gathering him into her arms to clutch at him almost as desperately as he was holding her. She gasped when she felt a quick, slightly painful bite at her shoulder.  
  
"That's not true," he said. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing's wrong, Battousai," she replied in earnest. "Nothing's wrong..."  
  
"What then?" He dragged his tongue across the juncture of her neck and shoulder, causing her to shiver.  
  
"I just..." she didn't know how to put into words what she felt, "I love you, is all."  
  
His grip tightened, the cast on his arm digging in to her back almost painfully. It was a welcome pain, though, and she reveled in the feeling of his skin against hers and in the feeling of complete protection. It was alright that he didn't respond to her confession, she understood. Even though he didn't know how to say it for himself, she knew what he felt. And it was alright.

* * *

Kaoru laughed happily as she strolled down the street, arm-in-arm with Battousai. The air was chill, but her warm coat kept the bite of the air away from her skin, and the sun was shining. They had just been out to lunch, and she couldn't help but feel just a bit withdrawn from the real world. Though she knew she would have to come back down to earth, Battousai's smiles and sometimes sultry looks told her that right now she could indulge herself in her fantasy. For a while everything could be perfect.  
  
And how could it not be right here in this moment? She held onto the arm of the man she loved, she was in a foreign country that she'd never seen before, and she'd just eaten a wonderful meal. There was nothing wrong with pretending like nothing could go wrong, was there?  
  
It seemed as if she could deceive herself for just a while longer when Battousai froze, jerking her accidentally to a halt. Her eyes were wide with question, but she was silent at the stony look on his face. Without a word, he steered her back the other direction, back toward the hotel. His black trenchcoat swirled around his legs as he swiftly cut through the crowd, Kaoru following on his heels so that she could move in the path that cleared for him. Even in a country where he was not known, people stepped aside for the small man with the fiery hair and hellish eyes. It was awe-inspiring and frightening.

* * *

"What-"  
  
"Don't ask questions just yet, love," he interrupted. "Not yet," he murmured."  
  
She nodded, sitting on the bed with a bewildered expression. What went on in his head was a mystery as always, but she could tell that he thought there was some sort of a threat to them, because his fingers were running up and down the hilt of his katana that was strapped to his side as usual. It was strange how something so conspicuous could all but disappear when he was carrying it. She hadn't yet learned the art of deception that he practiced when he walked on the streets, but somehow he seemed to fade away into the background, despite his countenance and carriage, which both suggested that he would easily stand out in a crowd. She shook her head, her hair falling over her shoulder, and wondered again about the man that was nearly silently pacing the wall.  
  
Gradually the tension flowed out of his body and his hand fell again to his side; Kaoru sighed in relief, finally relaxing and allowing herself to fall back on the bed, her arms above her head and crossed at the wrists. He turned to look at her, studying her as if he'd never seen her before. With a shake of his head he collected himself and began removing weaponry and whatever clothing was unnecessary in the warmth of the room. Kaoru suddenly remembered that she was still wearing her coat and shoes, and quickly shed the unwanted articles. She always felt so much freer when she had no shoes on, more like herself.  
  
Battousai sat down next to her and just looked down on her, not saying a word.  
  
"What was that?" she asked finally.  
  
"'That' was Shinomori Aoshi," he answered without hesitation. Clearly the danger, imagined or not, had passed.  
  
"Who?" The name sounded vaguely familiar, but she couldn't place it.  
  
"He would be the one that's here to kill me, and then do only God knows what with you." The response was dry, as if he were talking about someone else entirely. The emotionlessness of his tone sent shivers down her spine.  
  
"How did he wind up here?"  
  
"He's the leader of the Oniwabanshu, a group of ninja that are currently in alliance with Katsura. The group is highly trained, highly skilled, and highly dangerous. My insubordination has likely pushed Katsura to his limits, and now he's sent Shinomori to retrieve me. Of course, Shinomori hates me because... well... let's just say we don't stand eye to eye on certain matters involving the death of one of his close friends. Rather than bring me back, I'm sure he plans to kill me."  
  
"What are you going to do?"  
  
"Kill him first."

* * *

A/N: Fluff! Whee! When all else fails, turn to fluff, because you can't go wrong with that. Seriously. Who doesn't like it? Anyhow, school is killing my ability to write daily, what with homework and trying to actually get some decent sleep once in a while. (Didn't happen last night, by the way. I had the STRANGEST dream about a Jamaican ghost. Weird.) Anyhow, just be patient, I'm trying as hard as I can. It goes slowly, but at least it goes, ne? I would love to say the same as Bando-chan, who mentioned Labor Day (is that supposed to be capitalized or not?) and getting a lot of work done then. No dice. I have a four-day horse show this weekend, and while I might get some stuff done while I'm in the RV on my breaks, I doubt I'll get any serious writing in. The only time I've ever gotten anything done at this show was last year when I had a nasty cold the last day and sat around the entire time in the RV playing FFX and at the ringside with a cup of green tea in my hands, watching my friends show. It was raining too. :bleh: Anyhow, enough rambling. I know this chapter was a BIT short, but it was longer than last time, and I HOPE it was a little bit better. God, the last chapter sucked. I may have to go back and change that if I get the time... Anyhow, it's bedtie for poor Shadow, who is about to pass out from exhaustion.  
  
Oh, by the way... I've also been writing less because I've obtained a copy of Interview with the Vampire, and have been avidly reading that. And my friend loaned me books 3 and 4 of Fruits Basket, so... well... I've been busy. (So many pretty men! I want to squeeze the life out of all of them! Sadly, that wouldn't work very well... [Fans of Fruits Basket know what I'm talking about.]) Anyhow, this time I really am shutting up. Gah! I MUST go to bed...  
  
Quote of the day!  
_"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today."_ - James Dean


	12. New Day's Dawn

**Constellation **

MysticShadowWanderer

* * *

Chapter Twelve: New Day's Dawn

* * *

"You could not avoid me forever, Himura." The voice that spoke was quiet and cold; Kaoru shivered at the malice that seethed almost visibly behind the words. "You were only delaying the inevitable." 

Battousai's upper lip curled, nearly imperceptibly, into a smirk that made even Kaoru want to melt into the shadows in the corner of the alleyway. But the man that she now recognized as Shinomori Aoshi simply glared at him, shoulders squared and jaw set in determination, not saying a word. Whether or not he had the skill to back up the conviction in his eyes, he was immeasurably confident and brave, and Kaoru feared that he did indeed have the necessary means to be effective against the Battousai. And with Battousai's arm still being bound in a cast...

"I do not want there to be any more death," Battousai said taciturnly, his tone scraping on a warning that Kaoru knew Shinomori noted despite his unwavering stoicism. Her eyes flitted upward to meet Battousai's as he said this; did he really mean to give up his trade? "I will not kill in front of her again." She sighed loudly, even dramatically with the tension of the situation, when the words registered. It could not have been expected of him, she supposed.

"Then she may leave," was the dry response that caused Battousai to favor the taller man with a look so hard that Kaoru could practically see his intentions blazing in his eyes. If this Shinomori were a wiser man, he would have run long before this point. Or perhaps if he were a weaker man. She wondered if he really possessed the strength that silently claimed. For Battousai's sake and her own she prayed that this was not the truth. Before she could get the full measure of him, though, Battousai turned slightly to look at her. She knew what he would say, but she was loath to hear the words.

"Kaoru, go. Now."

His command was simply that: A command. It left no room for argument or discussion, and she felt her body mobilizing almost before her mind comprehended the full meaning of what he said. Almost against her will, her feet dragged their way out of the dark seclusion of the alley into the frigid afternoon sunlight of the main street. This was to be her fate, then? To not know what would happen to the man that she had so desperately fallen in love with? It seemed more than unjust to Kaoru's mind, yet she obeyed. Why did she listen? Her mind was running on a sort of automatic drive dictation, absently poring over her options, of which there weren't many.

What was going on back there? Was Battousai going to be alright? Would Shinomori really murder him in cold blood? What the hell was she doing just standing here!

People around her were starting to stare, and she could easily understand why. Here she was, a young Japanese girl, standing on a sidewalk in Russia in the middle of winter and clutching an expensive, wool-lined coat tightly around her shaking body, almost assuredly wearing a blank, listless expression. But appearances didn't matter to her anymore, not like they used to. All that she cared about was the man who was quite possibly in line to lose his life at that very instant.

Kaoru strained her ears, but she could hear nothing but the clash of metal on metal; the two were engaged in swordplay. Why didn't anyone else notice? Was everyone in the modern world so jaded that they didn't care that two men were battling to the death just feet away from where they were walking on their way to wherever their more important lives were taking them? Frustrated and terrified beyond reason, she knew she had to take some sort of action, but she didn't know what she could do. When the clash of swords came to an abrupt halt, she, without thinking, spun on her heel and sprinted back into the alley, only to slide to a stop when she saw Battousai kneeling with his good arm bracing him against the ground, staring up at Shinomori from under his long bangs and with an expression on his face so deadly that the bravest of men would have quaked before him. Yet Shinomori simply stared back at him, scarcely looking like he even had any thoughts at all in his mind; Kaoru was astounded. Neither man acknowledged her presence, they were both far too locked in the heat of battle to realize that she was standing with her back pressed flush against a cold, grimy stone wall as she tried to work out the situation internally.

Battousai seemed on alert, and while that would have been a given, she wondered how much of this he could take. He had not nearly completed his recovery yet, and she knew he had to be in pain whether he was showing it or not, and in addition to that his arm was still imprisoned in plaster. That led her to wonder just how much more of this he could stand before he made an error. And she got the impression that in this fight the slightest mistake would be a fatal one. She would die before she let Shinomori Aoshi steal the life of her Battousai. But what could she do in the position that she was in?

Suddenly she came to a realization.

* * *

"I want you to take this. Keep it on you," Battousai said as he pressed the cold item into her palm, releasing it into her hold only when he was certain she had a firm grip on it; her hand sank rapidly with the heaviness of it and she didn't like its feel as she wapped her fingers around it tightly. 

"What do I need this for?" she questioned tentatively, staring at it in semi-incredulousness.

Battousai chuckled darkly as he wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her forehead quickly. "Keep it on you," he reiterated. The answer was more than unsatisfactory to Kaoru, who frowned, eyebrows knitting together in consternation.

"But why do I need this?" she asked insistently.

"You are still naïve, aren't you sweetheart?" Kaoru struggled to repress her frustration; this was not the time for half-joking insults. As if sensing her irritation, Battousai hastily righted the situation. "I want you to be able to protect yourself."

"I thought you wanted to be the one to protect me," she said softly.

His eyes flashed hotly as if to remind her not to second-guess his motives and she instantly regretted her words, which had likely been a threat to his pride. His hair framed both of their faces as he pressed his forehead to hers and looked deeply into her eyes.

"You once told me in not so many words that you wanted to be able to take care of yourself, that I was asphyxiating you and caging your freedom. I am giving you room to breath and stretch your wings, sweetheart, and I think you would be wise not to take that for granted. But never doubt that I will be the one to protect you. If it costs me my life and the lives of those around me, I swear you will be kept from harm."

Behind his words she could read his intent. He didn't know if he would be there for her at all times, and he wanted her to be safe if the unthinkable ever happened. She nodded slowly and tilted her head up to press her lips to his. The possibility that she would have to use it was slim to none, anyhow...

* * *

Kaoru knew that she had been wrong and that now was the time to act. This Shinomori Aoshi could not be permitted to take what was hers. For he was as much hers as she was his, that she knew well. She nodded to herself, determination in her eyes. 

Stepping off the wall and bracing her feet wide, she drew the gun from the inside pocket of her coat in what felt like the blink of an eye. Without the slightest, she leveled it, steadied herself, and squeezed the trigger. At the same time she closed her eyes tightly, though she appreciated that perhaps that was not the best idea.

She heard a surprised grunt of pain and the muffled thump of a body hitting the ground, but she refused to open her eyes. Even though she'd been prepared to kill not so long ago to avenge the death of her father, she realized then that she could never have gone through with it. And now... now she wasn't sure how she could take this. She wasn't even entirely sure she'd shot the correct man. Certainly she'd taken aim, but she didn't have much experience with guns; the fact that she could easily have hit Battousai by chance hit her abruptly and she couldn't stop the silent tears from flowing down her face. She cried for herself, for Battousai, and for the man she had just shot. She had never wanted to kill anyone.

A strangled cry left her throat as she felt strong arms wrap themselves around her trembling body. Pressing her face into Battousai's shoulder, she didn't say a word. Had she been able to see him, she would have recognized the fierce look on his face, and she would not have liked it in the least. His eyes gleamed and his lips were turned upward in approval. His so recently un-caged bird had learned how to sing again. And the song had stumbled forth from the barrel of his gun. She was wholly his possession know. But the time of seeing her as a pretty plaything had long passed. He was not only her keeper but also her willing prisoner.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered, his warm breath rustling the hair on the top of her head. "So fucking beautiful, my love."

The harshness of his language was offset by the tenderness of his voice; her tears fell faster as he lifted her chin and set about kissing them away. Pulling away from her momentarily, he bent and swiftly retrieved the gun that she had dropped as if it could blister her skin. He knew that it would burn far more than flesh; she would carry the marks of murder for the rest of her life, and there was no escaping that kind of branding. With a few deft movements, he dropped the unneeded weapon in a deep pocket, sheathed the blade that he picked up from where he'd left it in his shock, and pulled her to his side.

Kaoru kept her head bowed, eyesight blurred by the tears that refused to be dried, and blindly put one foot in front of the other as Battousai led her away from the alley and away from a turning point in her life. It seemed that so much had changed so quickly. And while she didn't know how to address those changes, she knew that Battousai was still alive and more in love with her than she understood how to express even to herself. Perhaps, she thought, things could still go right for them.

* * *

A/N: I HATE THE LINE THINGS THAT BREAK THE PAGE OR WHATEVER! AUGH!


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